I haven’t written much about the Tiger Woods pressconference from last Friday mostly for the same reason why I don’t write much
about pro wrestling. Hey, it’s tough to take something that looks so fake too
seriously.
We’re just keepin’ it real![1]
Nevertheless, the Tiger Woods presser seemed to be made for Twitter in a Mystery Science 3000 kind of way. Man… how did we get through some of these things before Twitter?
Another aside: I glean all I need to know about a person’s personality from their Twitter updates. Some of you need help and/or a transfusion of sorts. I know all about the kettle and the pot (yadda, yadda, yadda), but I mean, really…
Anyway, the best story in the wake of the Tiger-ness was in Time magazine in a piece about Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn. It is because of this story (when coupled with the work in a recent SI issue) that Vonn jumped up a few notches in the “Unofficial Finger Food list of cool athletes.” [2]Who knew she had such a wicked sense of humor?
Granted, I haven’t seen much of the Olympics outside of the hockey game on Sunday night and the Johnny Weir skating travesty from last week (he wuz robbed!), but the only things I knew about Vonn is that she skies, she’s tall, she’s been pictured in several magazines wearing outfits not appropriate for skiing, and she won a gold medal despite an injury. That’s it.
Who knew Vonn was so funny? Why wouldn’t NBC do one of its dramatic features on Vonn standing in front of a brick wall and a couple of ferns while killing it during a 20-minute set at the Ha-Ha Hole? And if she’s not doing standup, why isn’t she?
These are important issues.
Anyway, the part in the Time story that was grabbing was when Vonn did a press conference in Vancouver shortly after Tiger had finished with his manufactured mea culpa last Friday.
Check it out:
And like millions of Americans, Vonn can't help poking fun at Woods' staged event. When a member of her Vonn-tourage tells her that Woods gave a few friends hugs after ending his statement, she cracks, “They're like, ‘Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.’” The room breaks into a laugh. Then she describes a skit she would want to perform if asked to host Saturday Night Live: picture Vonn at Woods’ podium, blue backdrop and all. “There's something you don't know about me,” Vonn says in a faux solemn, apologetic voice. “Tiger, you're like my idol, and I too have a sex problem.” More laughter. “That would be freaking funny.”
What does she mean by “would be?” It is freaking funny!
Hey, if we can’t make fun of celebrities on Twitter, what else do mopes like us have? But to hear that an Olympic gold medalist would probably be right in the middle of it with us, well, that’s your Olympic spirit right there.
Lindsey Vonn: Olympian. In more ways than one.