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Tiger Woods

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Revisiting Jim Furyk's outside game

Furyk NEWTOWN SQUARE, Pa. — Old rivals die hard. Either that orold rivals just get old and like to talk about the old glory days. Oh yes, those halcyon days when we had more hair and could drill 20-footers from the corner...

Jim Furyk remembers those days, too, especially the part about the 20-footers from the corner, which he recalled in better detail than a pro athlete with his resume should. See, the 2003 U.S. Open champion and former No. 2 rated player in the world (he’s currently ranked No. 5) was known less for his unconventional golf swing and stellar short game when he was a student at Manheim Township High School in Lancaster, Pa., and more for his stroke from the outside on the Blue Streaks’ basketball team.

At least that’s how I remember it, though Furyk politely corrected some of those memories about his basketball career on Tuesday afternoon as he finished up a practice round at Aronimink Golf Club ahead of the AT&T National. Playing somewhat near his hometown (head out 30 west until you get to Manheim Pike and then make a right at Granite Run… that will take you into his old ‘hood), or at least close enough that fans waiting for autographs called out, “Go Blue Streaks!” at him, Furyk explained that the 20-footer from the corner against Lebanon wasn’t as clutch as believed.

It was still a pretty big shot though.

“We had to beat them once in the next two games in order to win the second-half title,” Furyk said, before calling his abilities on the basketball court, “average.”

For a golfer (whatever that means), he still looks like he could give some high school kids a good run after finishing up 18 holes. Fit and trim as he was in high school, Furyk is playing some of the best golf of his life these days. Perhaps the only things that betray his age are the list of tournaments won and a hairline that has disappeared and crawled away for good.

As for Furyk being just an "average" ballplayer, I beg to differ. Considering that he played at the quintessential suburban high school in which it was somewhat surprising to learn that John Hughes did not scout out the place in order to research some of his movies like Pretty in Pink or The Breakfast Club or even 16 Candles, they were no pushover for us at the inner-city McCaskey High. We always thought we could waltz into gyms like Manheim Township or Hempfield and just intimidate them because our team was not made up of too many white kids, but that wasn’t always the case.

Township could play and the reason for that was guys like Furyk knew their roles and were put in positions where they could rely on their strengths. For the gang at McCaskey — and every other team in the Lancaster-Lebanon League circa 1988 — that meant Furyk could not be left open.

“You guys had more talent,” Furyk conceded to me, “but we put it together better.”

It’s difficult to argue with that considering Furyk’s team went to the league championship to face Warwick, which was a juggernaut that season with all-stater, Jack Hurd. If that name sounds familiar it’s because Hurd went on to start for four years at La Salle and has a spot in the Big 5 Hall of Fame. You can see his picture hanging on the wall at The Palestra if you look for it. Because of this fact, Hurd was the real star of the sports scene back then. Chalk it up to being the guy with a full ride to play for a Division I basketball program, while the other guy was best known for a sport that doesn't exactly draw too many spectators.

To some degree, Furyk went somewhat unnoticed in those days. Oh sure, we all knew how good he was at golf considering he won the state championship by a record 12 strokes. Even for high school where the talent parity in sports is not the same as it is in higher levels of competition, Furyk was like the Globetrotters playing against the Washington Generals.

All he needed was a bucket of confetti.

“It wasn’t like he shot par and everyone else was terrible,” said a high school and amateur golf competitor of Furyk’s named Ben Miller, from Lancaster. “He shot [two great rounds] and just ran away from everyone.”

That’s kind of the way it was in the 2003 U.S. Open where he tied the all-time record for the lowest 72-hole score in tournament history. The difference there, of course, was that Furyk was beating Tiger Woods and not punk kids named Miller from Lancaster. Still, it was during his senior year at Manheim Township where his path to a career in golf first became crystal clear.

“Up until his junior year he was really, really good,” Miller said. “But by his senior year there was no one who could compete with him. He just went to a different level.”

But consider this… just what in the hell was Furyk doing on the basketball court to begin with? Considering he was the top amateur golfer in Pennsylvania probably since Latrobe's Arnie Palmer tore it up, it’s a wonder he wasn’t sequestered at Meadia Heights hitting balls all day. Or, perhaps, if he had shown such talent for golf these days he could have been enrolled in one of those special schools where kids focus on their sport all day long with some book learnin’ sprinkled in.

Instead Furyk was a regular dude who played whatever sports he could. Miller says Furyk was a champion swimmer when he was a kid and played football, too. Still, think of the time he spent playing competitive high school basketball where an injury could have ruined one of the era’s best all-around golf careers. Didn’t anyone tell him to stop?

“No, all my friends were on the basketball team, so it was a chance for me to hang out with them,” he said, adding that some of the guys from the Township hoops squad were in his wedding and he still keeps in close touch with them now. Golf (obviously) didn’t have that social aspect with all its need to shush anyone who makes even the slightest noise when shifting from one foot to another.

In Lancaster, Pa. in 1988 being on the golf team wasn’t the path to popularity.

“Playing golf wasn’t too cool back then,” Furyk said, noting that during the golf season he had to bring his clubs to school and stash them in the coach’s office. “There was no way I was going to ride the bus to school with my clubs so I used to make my mom drive me. I wasn’t going to be seen carrying my golf bag on the bus or around school.”

Ah, but times change. What was uncool in the 1980s is viewed differently these days and one has to imagine that a state champion golfer would not get picked on for dragging his golf clubs around at school. Maybe getting a ride from mom would be the wrong move, but golf — for someone as good as Furyk — nah, not any more.

Besides, it wasn’t like the cool kids or jocks were pasting a “kick me” sign on his back in the hallways as if he were George McFly. This is Jim Furyk we’re talking about… he was on the basketball team.

Here’s the really interesting part… during Furyk’s senior year Billy Owens of Carlisle High and later Syracuse University (and then six different teams in the NBA), was the best player in Pennsylvania. Fortunately, Furyk says, he never had to face Owens in basketball like some of us. But where it gets interesting is Owens is exactly 11 days older than Furyk and was the more heralded athlete during high school and for many years after, too.

But Owens has been retired from the NBA since 2001 while Furyk, at age 40, has already won two tournaments this year and has won the sixth-most number of tournaments among active players. Yes, at 40, Furyk is just getting started.

“That’s why golf is a great game,” he said.

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Tiger's tales

Tiger NEWTOWN SQUARE, Pa. — There’s something about seeingridiculously famous people up close that is both exciting and sad. It’s like some sort of badge of honor only good for currency at cocktail parties or trips to the local bar that always comes off as remarkably lame.

Oh yes, I saw Tiger Woods the other day. We had a moment. He told me…

Blah, blah, blah.

Yes, Tiger posed for that picture and signed that autograph because he had to. It’s one of the hardships of the job that’s just like taking out the trash for regular folks. In other words, Tiger Woods didn’t show up at Aronimink Golf Club on Monday afternoon because he wanted to. He did it because he had to. He wants to pile money into his charities and make sure people pay money to come out to watch a bunch of dudes slap golf balls around pristine fields of grass.

He was taking out the trash.

It’s interesting to hear what “celebrities” truly think about interacting with the non-celebrity people in their lives. For instance, it’s pretty common to hear players on the Phillies whine and complain about doing those photo day interactions with the fans and compare notes on making it go as quickly and as harmlessly as possible.

You know, because interacting with people who like you is the worst way to spend a few moments.

Certainly that’s the cynical way to look at it. Then again, guys like Tiger Woods have created many-layered organizations in order to make the “have-to” things as harmless as possible. There are PR people that act as buffers in case fans and the media get a little too close to the celebrities, because if they aren’t as orchestrated and as vanilla as possible, it might cost someone a dime.

That’s the thought I had when Tiger Woods was answering questions about his neck injury and golf game while dressed in the uniform provided to him by his corporate overlords at Nike and TAG Heuer[1]. Of course he was sitting in front of a banner with the AT&T logo, which is one of the companies that invoked a morals clause and dropped him because of the revelations regarding his activities away from the course and home.

Awww-kward!

It seemed as if Tiger didn’t want to say anything when he turned up at Aronimink on Monday. However, because he hasn’t been playing golf well lately, Tiger spent most of the 27 minutes he talked to the media (inside the velvet ropes in the ballroom of the clubhouse) explaining why.

He’s hurt of course… and no it has nothing to do with that accident that happened last November.   

That’s what he says, anyway. Besides, it’s a convenient enough excuse until consideration is given to a couple of facts. One is that Tiger is always injured in some way or shape. He famously won the U.S. Open with a broken leg and seems to always be coming back from something. Maybe it’s the way his people try to paint him as some sort of an underdog, and because there is always a need for a compelling story, the TV broadcasts and some of the media buy it. After all, what good is sports if there is no drama? We can’t simply have a guy dominate like Usain Bolt or Secretariat. What fun is that?

So now Tiger is injured again, and very much like his broken swing that needed overhauled and coaching gurus, this is something else to feed the narrative. See, why would a competitor as fierce as Tiger walk off the course at The Players Championship if he wasn’t hurt?

Only this time the injury talk is taken with a grain of salt. Say what you will about them, but the media has a thing about placating people viewed by conventional wisdom as liars or cheats. Moreover, if a guy sets up layers and layers of buffers to keep away the fans and the press only to offer up vanilla, then he has no one else to blame if people come asking for something with a little more flavor.

Yeah, Tiger is probably hurt. Why would someone say that if it wasn’t true. But then again the sad part about seeing someone as famous as Tiger in the flesh isn’t so much the people jockeying to get close to him (that’s sad, too), it’s watching him try to put the curtains back to where they were.

No, apparently there is no less cynical way to see it


[1] The one organization providing him with jewelry since he did not appear to be wearing a wedding band. Does Nike make those yet?

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Do people still care about Tiger Wo... zzzzzzzzzzz

Zzzzzzzz! Be honest: do you care about Tiger Woods or are you just watching for the jokes? It's OK to tell the truth. It's funny, right? All of it. Especially the part where he has to talk to the media about his whatever it is he feels sorry for getting caught at.

But really, is there anything more boring than Tiger Woods and the media coverage of whatever it is the story is at this point?

There are plenty of people to feel sorry for in the Tiger saga, and they mostly are the folks in the media that have to cover it as if it matters. Imagine having to waste precious lean tissue and brain matter in order to come up with something cogent to say about Tiger Woods. Watching the media coverage of Tiger the last day or two is like something come up by Jon Stewart or seen on Monty Python. The funny part is that the folks coming up with the bits and stories are being serious. They’re actually doing that stuff earnestly and without irony.

That’s hilarious!

I saw the transcript of Tiger’s interviews with ESPN and the Golf Channel, but figured Beavis & Butthead episodes on YouTube or maybe a Steven Seagall movie might be more intellectually stimulating.

Oh, but it’s not like there wasn’t anything interesting at all to come out of the Tiger interview roll out. Not at all. In fact, it came out that PR maven Ari Fleischer quit as the puppet master because, as FoxSports reports Fleischer “fell on his sword because he felt he was becoming the story.”

“Fleischer’s legacy, whether fairly or not, remains propagating Bush/Cheney myths — like Saddam Hussein attacked America on Sept. 11, 2001 — which Americans don’t want to hear. Having him in behind the curtain gave the impression Woods had something to hide, and that words were being fed to him.”

So there’s that. Still, the timing of it all should come as no surprise. Tiger trotted out there on a Sunday after a weekend where the NCAA Tournament produced more crazy upsets than any first two rounds ever. In fact, Ivy League champ Cornell became the first team from its conference to win two games in the tourney since Penn went to the Final Four in 1979.[1] In fact, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, this very well might be the wackiest tournament since the 1986 NCAA Tournament where No. 7 Navy—with underclassman David Robinson—beat No. 2 Syracuse at the Carrier Dome before facing No. 14 Cleveland State in the Round of 16. That was the year No. 11 LSU got to the Final Four and freshman Pervis Ellison helped Louisville beat up No. 1 Duke in the championship game.

Good times.

Of course Tiger went out there at about the same time Congress was “debating” the historical passage of the health-care reform bill, too. That conjures up the up the biggest question of all:

Who cares about Tiger Woods? And if anyone cares about Tiger Woods, why?

Seriously, Tiger Woods plays golf. That’s it. Sure, he makes a lot of money and has charities and all of that stuff, but when it’s broken down to its essence, he is a golfer. That’s it. I never heard any stories where Tiger Woods rushed into a burning building to rescue some kids. No, he's not Spider-Man. He hits a little white ball, chases it down and then hits it again.

He also plays a sport in which a 60-year-old man (Tom Watson) came a centimeter away from winning the most-storied of all golf tournaments just last summer. It’s a sport where Phil Mickleson and John Daly can lumber and giggle around the course and win majors. Hey, I love golf as much as the next guy. I love playing it and watching it, but let’s be serious here. It’s golf. It ain’t cool.

At all.

Name another sport in which a 60-year-old man can beat the best in the world.

Why do we care about Tiger Woods again?


[1] Interestingly, Penn had to win four games as the No. 9 seed to get to the Final Four in 1979 (before getting destroyed by Magic Johnson and Michigan State). The Quakers knocked off No. 8 Iona, coached by Jim Valvano with Jeff Ruland in the low post, before slipping past No. 1 North Carolina. UNC had four future NBA players, which set the table for a victory over No. 4 Syracuse and No. 10 St. John’s. That’s right… Penn beat a 10-seed to get to the Final Four and tore through an ACC plus two Big East teams to get there. Cornell has the A-10 and Big Ten in its book. Is the SEC next?

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Catch a Tiger...

Lindsey_vonn I haven’t written much about the Tiger Woods pressconference from last Friday mostly for the same reason why I don’t write much about pro wrestling. Hey, it’s tough to take something that looks so fake too seriously.

We’re just keepin’ it real![1]

Nevertheless, the Tiger Woods presser seemed to be made for Twitter in a Mystery Science 3000 kind of way. Man… how did we get through some of these things before Twitter?

Another aside: I glean all I need to know about a person’s personality from their Twitter updates. Some of you need help and/or a transfusion of sorts. I know all about the kettle and the pot (yadda, yadda, yadda), but I mean, really…

Anyway, the best story in the wake of the Tiger-ness was in Time magazine in a piece about Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn. It is because of this story (when coupled with the work in a recent SI issue) that Vonn jumped up a few notches in the “Unofficial Finger Food list of cool athletes.” [2]Who knew she had such a wicked sense of humor?

Granted, I haven’t seen much of the Olympics outside of the hockey game on Sunday night and the Johnny Weir skating travesty from last week (he wuz robbed!), but the only things I knew about Vonn is that she skies, she’s tall, she’s been pictured in several magazines wearing outfits not appropriate for skiing, and she won a gold medal despite an injury. That’s it.

Who knew Vonn was so funny? Why wouldn’t NBC do one of its dramatic features on Vonn standing in front of a brick wall and a couple of ferns while killing it during a 20-minute set at the Ha-Ha Hole? And if she’s not doing standup, why isn’t she?

These are important issues.

Anyway, the part in the Time story that was grabbing was when Vonn did a press conference in Vancouver shortly after Tiger had finished with his manufactured mea culpa last Friday.

Check it out:

And like millions of Americans, Vonn can't help poking fun at Woods' staged event. When a member of her Vonn-tourage tells her that Woods gave a few friends hugs after ending his statement, she cracks, “They're like, ‘Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.’” The room breaks into a laugh. Then she describes a skit she would want to perform if asked to host Saturday Night Live: picture Vonn at Woods’ podium, blue backdrop and all. “There's something you don't know about me,” Vonn says in a faux solemn, apologetic voice. “Tiger, you're like my idol, and I too have a sex problem.” More laughter. “That would be freaking funny.”

What does she mean by “would be?” It is freaking funny!

Hey, if we can’t make fun of celebrities on Twitter, what else do mopes like us have? But to hear that an Olympic gold medalist would probably be right in the middle of it with us, well, that’s your Olympic spirit right there.

Lindsey Vonn: Olympian. In more ways than one.


[1] Do people still say that? Really? Probably not.

[2] Not an actual list but I’m sure it will be developed at some point. After all, if something isn’t fun/funny, I have a hard time taking it seriously. Is that a contradiction or an oxymoron? I think it is, but I’m standing by it.

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Hear him roar

Tiger The plan was to write something about how the Sixers willlikely finish out the season with the players they have. With the trade deadline inching ever closer and the last playoff in the East looking more difficult to catch with each passing game, it’s nearly time to pull the plug on the pro basketball season in Philadelphia.

That’s a shame, too. It would be neat to see the Sixers sneak into the playoffs and go up against LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round. Oh sure, they’ll lose, but that’s beside the point. The 2009-10 season could be one of the last great NBA seasons for a while with the collective bargaining agreement about to expire and the threat of a lockout looming. If the NBA is going away from a while, it could be with LeBron, Shaq and Kobe in the Finals and the Western Conference race as tight as ever.

Things are pretty good for the NBA on the court. Off the court? Not so much.

A backup plan was to write something about the Winter Olympics and the most successful day for the U.S.A. in the winter games, ever. On Wednesday, Shani Davis, Shaun White and Lindsey Vonn won gold and Julia Mancuso took a silver. That’s four medals in one day, including one where some dude can wear snow pants that look like denim.

You can’t wear jeans to the Olympics… c’mon!

Maybe we can wait a day to write about the Olympics after Johnny Weir skates. Yeah, that’s the plan. I saw where someone wrote that Johnny Weir is the best Sasha Baron Cohen character. That sounds about right. Actually, the Lancaster County native is so over the top that it seems as if he is parodying figure skating. If that’s his intent, he’s hilarious. And if it’s not, well, that’s hilarious, too.

But when word came out that Tiger Woods is going to show in face in public on Friday at a “press conference,” for the first time since he drove his car into a fire hydrant and then took a nap on his front lawn, all bets were off. See, we’ve only heard about Tiger and his various exploits in the time since he had that little accident.

Y’know, it made all the papers.

Here’s the interesting caveat about it, though… Tiger is going to hold his press conference only he will not be taking any questions. In other words, he’s going to stand in front of a bunch of cameras and folks with recorders and note pads and sermonize. He’s going to deliver a speech because it sure as shoot ain’t going to be a press conference. See, a “conference” implies that there will be a give and take. In a press conference, ideas are exchanged, questions proffered and answers—sometimes—attempted.

If a guy is going to just stand there and pontificate, what’s the point of calling everyone in?

Maybe that’s the problem? Maybe the fact that if Tiger Woods wants to talk (and only on his terms) everyone will go running to wherever he wants them just to be talked at. The arrogance of that guy, huh?

Then again, we already knew about Tiger’s arrogance—that is if the stories and reports are to be believed. Plus, three months after the event occurred and now the guy is ready to talk? He already gave the police the stiff-arm and then drove up traffic to his web site by posting ambiguous mea culpas. Now what does he want to say that he couldn’t say before? What’s in it for him?

Oh, I get it now… he wants to play in the Masters and has to do his penance first.

Sheesh, the dude hasn’t even said a word yet and I already want him to shut up.

It will be fun to listen in though. What else do people do on a Friday at 11 a.m. aside from work? Watch guys in faux jeans or faux fur compete in the Olympics? Actually, come to think of it, that might be the way to go.

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Smile... everyone is watching

After the news that Hollywood actor Warren Beatty allegedly slept with 12,775 women, at least according to a new book, “Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America,” it kind of puts the whole Tiger Woods thing in perspective. A “good” day at the local Perkins for Tiger would be a slow Tuesday afternoon for Warren Beatty.

It has to be that smile Warren has, right? The smile?

Whatever it is, Tiger Woods has been big news in most circles these days. It seems as if everyone is very concerned about his marriage, which is so very nice. Who says Americans are all about me, me, me? One American, a Mr. Brit Hume of the FoxNews, went so far as to offer some spiritual advice despite the fact that Tiger, like his mother, is a Buddhist.

Oh, the advice went “viral” as they say. It’s everywhere.

Hume’s advice aside, there’s a strong chance that stories about Tiger Woods and his, um, dalliances, won’t be such big news in the future. Or, maybe depending on how one’s media appetite, Tiger-like stories will be even bigger news. That’s because TMZ, the Internet scandal sheet that broke the Tiger story as well as the story of Michael Jackson’s death, has decided to launch a sports department as well as a site specific to Washington, D.C.

The assumption is that TMZ will treat the sporting scene in much the same manner it reports on Hollywood, so don’t go there expecting game analysis or a breakdown of the statistics behind the statistics. Actually, TMZ just might treat sports and Hollywood exactly the same, meaning like it’s entertainment.

Now this development should not scare the so-called “traditional” media because they have already ceded interest in sports figures’ social and personal lives until it is time to pile on. The fact is no one cared at all about Tiger Woods’ personal life until the story exploded and/or he announced (via his web site) he would be “taking a break” from golf1.

The fact is, mainstream media never dives into the realm of Hollywood-type gossip and reportage on sporting types even though certain “affairs” are hardly a secret. Everyone hears the stories and the rumors and does nothing more than chuckle about them. There’s no judgment or Hume-like advice (at least that I know about), certain choices are simply viewed as “par for the course,” to use a phrase.

No, if TMZ is going to tackle sports the way they get after the Hollywood scene, the athletes and sports types—including the radio, newspaper, web site, and television “personalities”—should take heed. After all, as the Tiger Woods saga has proved, everything is fair game and there are no secrets of limits.

TMZ’s foray might not be just a game-changer for sports and the way it is covered, but it very well might be a life-changer, too.

Or maybe another stat on the back of the bubblegum card? Who is going to try and break the records set by Warren Beatty or Wilt Chamberlain?

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1 Isn’t that funny… taking a break from golf. Seriously. Normal people take a break and go play golf, but not Tiger. At the risk of sounding like Brit Hume it sounds as if “taking a break” from golf is where Tiger got himself into trouble in the first place. But whatever.

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The song and the dance

Brian_dawkins Just like in the movies, sports require the participants to be good actors. We like the drama, thrills and the comedy—both unintentional and intended. Otherwise, what’s the point? We watch and engage it to be entertained.

Brian Dawkins gets that. Why else would he exert so much energy to come up with such an elaborate routine before every game? Sure, it looks like he’s doing it for his teammates to help get them fired up before the game, but really why does a pro athlete need someone else to motivate them? With all the money and competition riding on every play, the last thing a football player (or any other athlete for that matter) needs is some guy dancing the hootchie-coo in order to make other play harder.

I mean really.

Nope, Dawkins does all that stuff for you. He wants you to react and to be entertained. His pro wrestling-like entrance is just his way, not unlike Peyton Manning acting all goofy in a TV commercial, Derek Jeter serial dating, or Tiger Woods doing whatever it is he does.

It’s all part of the show.

But don’t write it off as insignificant. Oh no sir! Ballplayers hate the notion that they might be asked to “dance,” but when the music starts up and the lights start flashing, it takes Barry Sanders-like focus to maintain that austere façade.

Everyone has an act in sports. In fact, even Barry Sanders had an act. As they say, sometimes no style is considered to be a style. Hell, even they digitalized pixels on video games come with personalities programmed into the code. Better yet, the computer geeks set it up so even the folks playing the game at home can design any type of player they wish.

That’s kind of the way it works in pro sports, too. Do you think Terrell Owens was an obnoxious, delusional malcontent from day one? Or was Dennis Rodman such a quirky dude when he joined the Pistons with Isiah Thomas, Bill Laimbeer, and Rick Mahorn in the mid-1980s?

Answer: No. Those guys would have gotten their rears kicked if they tried it.

Just like any of their other skills, the persona is something that needs to be honed. However, it has to come in conjunction with some bona fide playing skills. For instance, no one has a problem when Brian Dawkins does a somersault into a handstand during the pregame introductions in his first game back in Philadelphia as a member of the Denver Broncos. After all, Dawkins didn’t just show up doing that whole X-Men bit. It took a lot of work both on and off the field.

Meanwhile, Freddie Mitchell was a player whose skills skewed the wrong way. The former wide receiver and first-round bust had the song and dance down, but had no idea of which key it was supposed to be sung.

In other words, Mitchell wasn’t good enough to strut the way he did.

Of course there is a slippery slope one treads, too, and Dawkins very well might be in that territory at this point of his career. Before Sunday’s home finale the talk was more about the way Dawkins might enter the ball field as opposed to how well he would perform on it. Sure, everyone wanted to see Dawkins dance, but no one really paid much attention to the way he covered receivers or made tackles.

All anyone wanted to see was the show and to hear about how Dawkins was up in the tunnel in his old ballpark screaming "Hallelujah!" and various other sweet nothings meant to get everyone all ornery and loud.

And you can’t have one without the other.

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Murder and weather is the only news

Tiger We live in a weird world.

Yeah, just let that one stand there for a moment. It’s not exactly the deepest bit of breaking news out there, but really, what else is there to say about the events of the past weekend?

Besides, I don’t know what type font to use for a slow, eye roll or headshake.

Indeed, it’s a weird world we live in. Think about it for a second—here in the U.S., we are in the midst of two different wars, we have an economy that is a mess with no real easy fix. Worse, though some say the country is showing some signs of economic recovery, the unemployment rate is in double-digits with any job that can be outsourced somewhere cheaper, gone in the blink of an eye.

In other words, to steal from Bob Dylan, “Money doesn’t talk, it swears.”

Speaking of swearing, there is a healthcare bill ready for debate in the Senate very shortly. Whether the bill becomes a law or not does not supercede the historical significance that an actual bill that would grant millions of uninsured Americans proper health care made it this far.

It would be like if the Eagles won the Super Bowl or something… you know, something that has never happened.

Americans have so little regard for anything it seems. Sure, we’re told to be moral and just and all of that stuff, but out of the other side of the mouth comes the advice that if you can stick it to the other guy, get him before he gets you.

Since the world is a rat race it’s OK to be a rat.

We revel in failure. Just look at what the trendy television shows are—any type of live action, reality thing where we can sit in the safety of out over financed home with goods purchased on credit that are a couple of missed payments away from a visit from the repo man, and judge along with the “celebrity” judges. American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Jon & Kate—you name it. As long as the someone making asses out of themselves is someone else, dial it up.

The worst part about this isn't that it's the crap we get fed... it's that the powers believe we like it. Because of that they get to treat hard-working, regular folks like they are idiots all because something as stupid as "Survivor" got good ratings.

Frankly, that's just mean.

So should it comes as a big surprise that at a time where real, sobering news should be delivered with all the proper nuance, we were treated to stories about White House gatecrashers and Tiger Woods’ mishap with an SUV and a fire hydrant as if they were just another Thanksgiving leftover.

Just pile it on deeper and deeper. We’ll get back on the nourishing, healthy program later.

Then again none of this should come as a surprise. We’ve already trashed real news and turned it into a press release or marketing ploy to a degree that somewhere Nietzsche and Darwin are trading high-fives. After all, two attention-starved jackasses are getting exactly what they wanted from a national press too vapid to see the irony in the reportage.

I’d go into deeper detail about the Secret Service/White House foul-up, but I think I’m going to go punch myself in the face first.

There… better.

The oddest story of the weekend belonged to Tiger Woods, which is kind of news, but not really. See, when the No. 1 golfer on the planet wrecks his car into a tree and fire hydrant at 2:25 a.m. the morning after Thanksgiving, is found with scratches and bruises on his face while lying on his back unconscious next to the vehicle, which just so happened to have the back windows bashed out by his wife with a long iron, well yeah, that’s a news story. In fact, it’s a pretty big story.

But because there was no drugs involved—legal or otherwise—the story ends as soon as Tiger finishes his next 18 holes. If he can play golf and did not commit a crime, the rest of the story is no one’s bleeping business.

Seriously, get a life. It’s not that difficult. Tiger has one, but you can’t have it. Really, go get your own.

But that would be too difficult. So too would be digging into the issues of healthcare, economics or tribal wars in unfamiliar continents. Why count on people to think when they can get some eye candy? Why nourish when it’s the junk food that delivers the big bucks.

Ratpack Hey, if the world is a rat race maybe we have no other choice than to be rats.

So as we hop on that spinning wheel so we can run in place and hope someone drops us another unfulfilling pellet, we might as well have some fun with it, right?

Try this theory out for size—the reason why “celebrity” stories and tell-all journalism is forced down our throats and controversy is created where it shouldn’t exist is because newsmen and women did the right thing back in the old days.

In sports, how many dust-ups did Mickey Mantle and Billy Martin get into during the average year? How many times did Mickey show up at the ballpark still hung over from a night at Toots Shor’s? Or what about Frank, Sammy and Dean-O? You know those guys were out having a good time running around the strip in Vegas—come on, we all heard Dean Martin at the Sands or Frank doing his thing at the Desert Inn.

And we know there was no way in hell that liquid in those rocks glasses wasn’t iced tea.

Oh yes, ballplayers, crooners, stars, starlets, politicians and presidents went out, got into trouble and didn’t have to worry about reading about it the next day on TMZ because there was something different going on back then…

People had their own lives and didn’t need to borrow Frank Sinatra’s. They didn’t go crashing some party they weren’t invited to because that would be classless. Worse, it’s tacky.

Nevertheless, murder and weather now have a partner on the nightly news and it’s called the celebrity minute. Only this time it lasts longer than a minute—it’s all they give us.

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Going the distance

Tiger & RoccoFor my money the best tiebreaker in all of sports is the one-on-one showdown over a full round of golf at the U.S. Open. That, folks, is as pure as it gets - one round and mano y mano. Argue all you want. Go ahead and waste your breath because you are wrong. The U.S. Open tiebreaker is the best there is because the participants actually play the entire match. There is no silly exhibition like in college football or the NHL where a watered-down skills competition decides the winner. Unlike the NFL the winner isn't decided by a coin toss or by a role player.

Instead, to decide the winner of the U.S. Open golf tournament after four rounds have been played to a tie, the participants play golf. No chipping competition or a putting contest or even a reward for the best driving abilities - instead the winner is determined by the ability to play golf.

Imagine that.

At its core, golf is a sport all about endurance and like most endurance sports golf is a game in which improvement comes to those patient enough to put in the time, discipline and sacrifice. It's about putting oneself in position for the next shot and then the shot after that as opposed to right now. Fortunately the pace of the game gives the player a chance to think about future shots with all of the walking and quiet meditation.

And yes, golf is a game best played by walking. Otherwise, what's the point?

But like endurance sports where improvement comes over time and practice, golf is sport that one can rarely master. Even Tiger Woods, probably the best golfer who ever lived, has to learn the art of humility on the course. That because golf, like most endurance sports, exposes every flaw and weakness. It's like marathon running that way in that imperfections are chewed up and snarfed back out into the dirt.

So to send Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate - the ultimate PGA Tour grinder - back out onto the souped-up (yet fair) Torrey Pines links for 18 more holes is about as good as it gets in sports. Also, maybe an 18-hole playoff - or 19 as it turned out to be with Woods prevailing by a shot - is the only chance a player like Mediate had. A 23-year touring pro ranked as the 158th best player in the world, Mediate said his only chance to ever win a major was here and now.

He nearly pulled it off.

The good part was we all got to watch Tiger Woods persevere after getting pushed around by Rocco. Woods needed every dramatic shot he made just to get into Monday's playoff. Just the 18th hole at Torrey by itself was center stage for three of the most dramatic shots in recent golf history for three days in a row. Those were three holes that Woods played eagle, birdie, birdie just to be able to have a chance.

Without the 18-hole playoff we don't get that.

Better yet, the U.S. Open tiebreaker is played on a Monday morning when people normally are at work or watching soap operas. Instead of manufactured hype and over-wrought production, we got sports.

Pure and simple.

Beat that.

*** Speaking of overwrought, manufactured, phony and annoying, what's with all these Red Sox fans?

Maybe the Inquirer's Bob Ford knows?

Nevertheless, the press box here at the Bank is filthy with folks who have ventured out of the proverbial woodwork in order to take a gander at the crowded Red Sox bandwagon. But what they won't be able to decipher is a difference between the Sox and the New York Yankees. After all, when teams throw around that kind of cash it all just blends together.

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Another year goes by

Today is the 21st anniversary of the death of Len Bias. Last year I wrote a longer post about it which was to be published elsewhere, but Brett Myers went out and got arrested in Boston in a case that we remember all too well.

Anyway, I still maintain that Len Bias was the best college basketball player I had ever seen. Better than Michael Jordan, Ralph Sampson, David Robinson, James Worthy, Patrick Ewing, Pearl Washington, Chris Mullin or any of those guys for UNLV.

Anyone who says Bias wasn’t a bigger, stronger, meaner and more polished Michael Jordan, just doesn’t know any better.

Said The Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon: “I saw great players from both the ACC and Big East every night. Jordan. Ewing. Mullin. Sampson. Later on, David Robinson. But Bias was the most awesome collegiate player of that bunch. That jumper was so pure. I mean, Michael Jordan, at that time, would have killed for that jumper. And Bias was 2 ½ inches taller.”

Charles Barkley: “I'd have played against him for the next 14 years. I would have been in my prime and he would have been in his. I'll never forget what he looked like. He was a ‘Wow!’ player. When Maryland played and was on television, I watched. It was like, ‘I need to watch this guy; I'll be seeing him real soon.’ . . . It was just shocking. Thing is, cocaine was huge then. My brother had been in and out of rehab. . . . It was a popular drug at the time. And guys I was playing against, like John Lucas and Michael Ray Richardson and John Drew had done cocaine. I was thinking: ‘What the hell is up with this cocaine? I should try this once to see what it was all about.’ Then, we heard the reports were that Bias only used it once . . . that it was his first time. When I heard that, it scared me to death . . . scared the daylights out of me. It scared me into not trying it even once, not going anywhere near it.”

Twenty one years and it still seems like it was just yesterday.

***
Inevitably, when the Detroit Tigers and manager Jim Leyland arrived in Philadelphia for last weekend’s series, the comparisons between the two skippers would crop up. I suppose the Tigers appearance in last October’s World Series didn’t quell the argument regarding Charlie Manuel and Leyland in some circles because people talked about it.

Leyland, of course, wasn’t too interested in talking about losing out on the Phillies’ gig to Charlie, telling reporters curtly, “Don’t go there,” when the subject was broached last Friday.

Former Phillie Placido Polanco wasn’t too jazzed about comparing Charlie and Leyland either, saying, “What are you trying to say? That Charlie's no good? When you lose, it's the manager's fault, but when you win, the players play good. You have to give the manager credit, but the players have to make the plays.”

Polanco is definitely right about that, but that’s the way it goes in baseball. The manager is always looked at by the fans as some sort of Svengali, when in reality the best managers are smart enough to know to stay out of the way.

Besides, skippering a team like the Detroit Tigers doesn’t exactly take a whole lot of innovation. All Leyland has to do is fill out the lineup card with Polanco, Gary Sheffield, Magglio Ordonez and the rest of that murderers’ row or tell one of his lights’ out young pitcher to throw a no-hitter or shutout. In that regard the strategy showdown between Charlie and Leyland never really manifested.

How hard is it to manage a bunch of home runs?

Regardless, Manuel may have out-smarted himself when he decided to yank starting pitcher Adam Eaton in the seventh inning of Sunday’s game with Gary Sheffield coming to the plate. To that point in the game Eaton had a two-run lead and had just allowed a pair of the six hits he yielded. But instead of letting his starting pitcher with just 91 pitches on the odometer try to wiggle out of his mess, Manuel turned to his bullpen three different times to get the final two outs of the innings.

When it was all finished, the two-run lead had become a three-run deficit and the sit-back-and-let-it-unfold-style of managing that had marked the series blew up like one of those rubber cigars from the cartoons.

Worse, the second-guessing started.

That statistics and sabermetric folks have crunched a lot of numbers to make them prove a lot of different things about the game, but it might be worth it to see what the stats show in regard to meddlesome managers. Certainly Manuel has been criticized for being too loyal and leaving players in spots when they have long surpassed their effectiveness. Pat Burrell springs to mind in that regard.

However, after spending most of the first part of the season doing all he could to avoid his bullpen, Manuel wasn’t shy about using four pitchers to get out of the seventh on Sunday.

Go figure.

***
From White Sox skipper Ozzie Guillen on Polanco:

“He's the heart of that club. I don't know why the hell the Phillies let him go.

“To me, the key to that team is Polanco. He's clutch. He's one of the most underrated players in the game. People don't know how good he is.”

Ask Ed Wade about David Bell if you’re looking for the answer on that one.

***
If you’re watching the Indians and Phillies play this week it looks as if Cleveland is treating some familiar faces quite well. David Dellucci, Jason Michaels, Aaron Fultz, Roberto Hernandez and Paul Byrd have all landed with the Indians and have made big contributions to the leaders of the AL Central.

Meanwhile, Joe Borowski is pleased that he ended up with the Indians instead of the Phillies.

***
If you're in Cleveland and looking for a good place to unwind after the Phillies game and don't mind taking a little drive and/or want to avoid the tourist traps and post-frat boy joints on The Flats, try The Barking Spider out near Case Western Reserve University.

I spent a week there one night about a decade ago.

Anyway, it's approximately five miles from the ballpark...

***
Quick observation about the U.S. Open:

How about the dichotomy in the trio of leaders down the stretch? Jim Furyk looked lean and mean and looked just like he did when he was playing hoops for Manheim Township. Tiger Woods looked like a guy who spent all of his free time in the gym and was not to shy about showing off his newly sculpted physique.

And then there was champion Angel Cabrera who chain-smoked his way through the back nine and stopped at the turn for a couple of hotdogs and a beer.

Here’s my prediction – Furyk and Tiger will be amongst the top 10 golfers in the world for the next decade while Cabrera is never heard from again.

Either that or he joins the John Daly wing of the PGA Tour.

Tomorrow: Airports, summer travelling, Bobby Abreu, Jim Furyk and Floyd Landis.

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Workin' for the weekend

Let's tie up the events from last weekend, shall we?

First, the Furyk-Woods pairing in the Ryder Cup wasn't enough to help the uninterested U.S. team from going belly-up like a well-fed puppy. The only reason Europe didn't set the record for the largest margin of victory was because they did the "sporty" thing and pulled back.

Seems as if the U.S. Ryder Cup team is about as interested in the event as the U.S. basketball players are excited for the Olympics.

Meanwhile in Berlin, Haile Gebrselassie ran to victory in 2:05:56, which is a minute off the world record, but impressive nonetheless. Why was it so impressive (other than the fact that Geb ran 4:48 per mile)? For one thing, Geb won the race by almost five minutes -- five minutes! That means he ran by himself -- the duel with Sammy Korir didn't pan out -- on a warm day with a headwind. That's not optimal conditions for running, yet Geb was still on world-record pace until the final 5K of the race.

Since we love hyperbole and grandiose statements, some are already saying that because of the conditions with the heat, humidity and win, no pacesetters and no competition, Geb's run was the best ever.

A 2:05:56 speaks for itself.

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Workin' for the weekend

Let's tie up the events from last weekend, shall we?

First, the Furyk-Woods pairing in the Ryder Cup wasn't enough to help the uninterested U.S. team from going belly-up like a well-fed puppy. The only reason Europe didn't set the record for the largest margin of victory was because they did the "sporty" thing and pulled back.

Seems as if the U.S. Ryder Cup team is about as interested in the event as the U.S. basketball players are excited for the Olympics.

Meanwhile in Berlin, Haile Gebrselassie ran to victory in 2:05:56, which is a minute off the world record, but impressive nonetheless. Why was it so impressive (other than the fact that Geb ran 4:48 per mile)? For one thing, Geb won the race by almost five minutes -- five minutes! That means he ran by himself -- the duel with Sammy Korir didn't pan out -- on a warm day with a headwind. That's not optimal conditions for running, yet Geb was still on world-record pace until the final 5K of the race.

Since we love hyperbole and grandiose statements, some are already saying that because of the conditions with the heat, humidity and win, no pacesetters and no competition, Geb's run was the best ever.

A 2:05:56 speaks for itself.

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Look at that!

I generally don’t like to watch sports for long periods of time. I guess that makes me weird or perhaps someone who made a bad career choice.

Actually, let me explain myself. I dislike watching sports that I’m not writing about nor have some sort of connection to. I’m like Vin Scully that way since the greatest voice in baseball history has never attended a game he wasn’t working. Ol’ Vin just refuses to go to a game just for the sake of going to a game.

My problem is my attention span. I just can’t sit still long enough to fully concentrate on sports on TV. I need to get up and walk around. Or check stuff out on the Internet. Or read a book. Or do sit-ups. Something, anything but sit and stare at a box.

But this weekend is different. Aside from the Phillies’ big series against the Marlins, the always fun Ryder Cup is burning up the airwaves. The most interesting part from these parts is that homeboy Jim Furyk from Manheim Township is paired up with Tiger Woods in team action. According to the word on the street, Tiger has taken a shine to the Lancaster kid because of his competitiveness and work ethic.

Maybe that endorsement from Tiger is not what Furyk needs? After all Tiger stinks in Ryder Cup-style play.

Then again, the last time we heard such accolades heaped on a guy from around here, he was riding his bike to Paris wearing the Yellow Jersey.

Nevertheless, the Ryder Cup is tons of fun with all of the best elements of golf. Every shot is meaningful and every putt has the chance to sway the balance of a match. Who wouldn’t want to watch that?

You want to watch people run? You mean… run?
Uh, yeah. Is that odd?

For most people, Sunday means parking it in front of the TV so they can feel their rear grow into the couch. But if I can get up (or stay up), I’m watching the showdown in Berlin where the great Haile Gebrselassie goes against Sammy Korir, the second-fastest marathoner in the history of the world, in Sunday’s 26.2-mile race.

The race won’t be on TV in the United States, but it will be on NBC pay-per-view on the Internet. Frankly, this is a great idea and is the perfect for the web – there are a few fringe sports that a few Americans are interested in. Why now “televise” them on the Web? Hopefully, broadcasting on the Web becomes the future for sports. I have the feeling that it’s already heading that way, since, as I type, I have the Dodgers-Diamondbacks game on my PC.

Anyway, the big race in Berlin is expected to flirt with the world record because the course is flat and designed for fast times and the runners are very talented. Korir lost to Paul Tergat in the classic 2003 race in Berlin with a 2:04:56. Tergat had to break the world record to beat him.

So far this year, Korir has the best time in the world with a 2:06:38 in Rotterdam.

Geb, of course, is judged by many to be one of the greatest runners in history. He has the gold medals from the Olympics, a handful of world records, but he hasn’t been able to dominate marathoning like many suspected he would. Regardless, there’s a buzz about Berlin this year and reports are the pacesetters have been instructed to hit the halfway point in 62:30 – right on world-record pace.

New York, New York
Speaking of marathons, the New York City race has assembled a deep and interesting field. Tergat, the defending champ and world-record holder, is in the race, along with Olympic and World champ Stefano Baldini. On the women’s side, American-record holder Deena Kastor should duel with Catherine Ndereba, the all-time great Kenyan who trains in Valley Forge.

But the interesting part is the Americans that are running in New York. Olympic Marathon silver medalist Meb Keflezighi and Olympians Alan Culpepper and Dathan Ritzenhein (his marathon debut), are in, along with Peter Gilmore, who was seventh at this year's Boston Marathon.

So why run in New York instead of Chicago where the Americans can get a faster time? How about money, money, money. New York has set up a special prize structure where the the top American gets $20,000, second place gets $15,000. Third wins $10,000 and then $3,000 and $2,000 for fourth and fifth.

There is no mention of bonuses for running specific times, though the Toronto Marathon is offering a $20,000 bonus for anyone running faster than 2:10.

Personally, I think that anyone who can run a 2:09 marathon should be set for life, or at least make more money than the Major League minimum salary, but that’s me.

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The greatest of all time?

I don't know if this is a trend or simple marketing of sports so that people will not only stay tuned to the game (or whatever), but also will think they are watching something historically significant, but often it appears as if I have tuned in to watch an "all-time greatest of the game."

It seems like such a debatable hyperbole, yet often there is no debate. It just so happens that I, luckily, have tuned in to something historic.

Mostly this occurs with individual sports like golf and tennis, but lately the G.O.A.T./history trend has morphed into mainstream team sports as well. Take Ryan Howard for instance -- last week in Washington I was sitting in the press box for a supposed historical occasion when the slugger tied and passed Mike Schmidt's franchise record for home runs in a season. It was something to see because the shots Howard hit were magnificent and I remember watching Schmidt hit a lot of those 48 homers during the 1980 season. So to be there when the record changed hands was pretty cool.

But it wasn't historical despite how it was being billed by certain media types. Not even close. If I had been outside of the Appomattox Court House on Palm Sunday of 1865 when Lee surrendered his army to Grant, now that would have been historic. Had I been alive to watch Neil Armstrong hop off the Apollo and onto the moon, that would have been historic. Waking up five years ago to desperate phone calls from my wife to, "TURN ON THE TV! NOW!" That was historic. This is just baseball. A nice milestone and definitely something very cool, but not anything I can brag about seeing. Not when half the people I know don't care.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'm just being one of those uptight guys who likes to toss a wet blanket over everyone's fun. Well... yeah. Sometimes I enjoy being iconoclastic and "brutally honest." But mostly I just don't appreciate being misled. Even in the insular world of baseball, Howard passing Schmidt was barely a blip in its history. Maybe for the Phillies Howard's homers are significant since the franchise's history is pock-marked by losing season after losing season and overt racism during the game's "Golden Era" in which the team failed to integrate its roster long after nearly every other team.

Along those lines, Howard is already being referred to as potentially the greatest Phillie ever. Hell, he ought to just retire now. He almost has one full season in the books; he ought to hang 'em up. What else does he have to prove?

Certainly those who call Howard the G.Ph.O.A.T. acknowledge their silliness. Let the man have a career first. But that didn't stop anyone from waxing exaggeration in regard to Roger Federer during the finals of Sunday’s U.S. Open.

For anyone who saw it, Federer was often brilliant and mostly dominant in cruising to a four-set victory over Andy Roddick for his ninth Grand Slam victory. That's within the range of Tiger Woods, Federer's Nike brethren, who was sitting courtside with the Swooshes blazing for all of the close-up shots that stopped being about a celebrity watching a tennis match and more about selling over-priced athletic gear and shoes. Hey, if you're going to be a corporate shill, go all out... right Tiger?

So as Federer cruised, the debate started. Actually, it wasn't a debate, it was history.

It also got me thinking, which is probably not what CBS, the USTA, or Nike wanted anyone to do. But the idea was out there -- was Federer the greatest tennis player of all time?

Certainly the way he pushed around Roddick on Sunday made the debate easy for that day. Federer is easily the greatest tennis player out there now, but whom is he playing? Andy Roddick? Rafael Nadal? Lleyton Hewit?

Please.

But when I saw Federer blast balls from the baseline, daring anyone to approach the net against him, I thought, "this kid watched tapes of Borg play."

Who can forget Bjorn Borg? For as great as the "Super Swede" was -- and he is on the short list for G.O.A.T. -- he was even more of an enigma. But perhaps that's the way Borg had to be since he had John McEnroe always buzzing around and trying to knock him off. When it wasn't McEnroe, it was Jimmy Connors -- a guy who was No. 1 in the world for 160 straight weeks -- gunning for him.

Then came Ivan Lendl. Then Boris Becker. Then Pete Sampras, who re-wrote the record books.

Beneath the top layer guys like Andre Agassi, Jim Courier, Stefan Edberg, Mats Wilander, Pat Cash and Michael Stich always seemed to be hovering around the top ranks for decades.

These days Federer isn't the king of the hill; he's a man on an island.

That's not Federer's fault, of course. Since you can't pick your parents, you can't really pick when you are born, either. Blaming Federer for being dominant in a weak era is a lot like judging Wilt Chamberlain for being bigger than everyone else during the infancy of the NBA. Any competitor like Federer wants to measure himself against the very best.

Eventually, Wilt had Bill Russell as his nemesis, which often brought out historical performances from both men. It remains to be seen whether or not Federer will develop a big-time rivalry with Nadal or Roddick, just like it's still up in the air whether or not the slugging Phillie will ever fall to mere mortal status against a tough lefty pitcher.

Then again mere mortality never seemed to happen for the golf-swatting Nike billboard sitting courtside for the tennis clinic on Sunday.

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