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Cole Hamels

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Panda watch, day 5

anchorman2The mood is tense; I've been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. Here comes the latest Cole Hamels briefing:

  • Cole was in Philadelphia driving a minivan
  • Cole said the weather was nice in Philly
  • Cole says, "There's nothing to worry about..."
  • Cole's flight back to Tampa was delayed two hours. It was a USAir flight - go figure
  • Cole did not like climbing back into the MRI machine
  • Cole said the anti-inflammatory shot hurt... A LOT
  • Cole did not get a lollipop after his shot
  • Cole did get a band-aid after his shot
  • Cole says he is the front-runner for the No. 5 starter position
  • Cole is not worried about the possibility of not starting on Opening Day
  • Cole wiled away the time during the flight delay by reading a book
  • Cole says he will pitch through the soreness if his condition lingers
  • Cole says he bets on longshots - "that's where you win the money, right?"

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ7dUlRUJIM&hl=en&fs=1]

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Handle with care

CLEARWATER, Fla. – Cole Hamels is really, really good at getting injured. Actually, his ability to get injuries, pain, soreness, tweaks and twinges are the most consistent aspect of his pro career.

It’s what he does best.

Oh sure, Hamels also has a left arm that comes around maybe once a generation. He has an incredible knack to put together incredible stretches of games that conjure up memories of the all-time greats. Better yet it’s a Hall-of-Fame arm, which, if one asks Hamels straight out what he wants to accomplish with his baseball career, he’ll flat-out tell it without so much as blinking or a trace of arrogance.

The answer comes as if he had rehearsed it in front of a mirror for years…

He wants no-hitters, piles of wins, Cy Young Awards, a career that spans decades, and, of course, the Hall of Fame. The good part for the Phillies is that Hamels’ goals aren’t all that unreasonable. The odds are relatively favorable that the lefty could pitch a no-hitter or two or win a Cy Young.

But here’s the thing about that – Cole Hamels ain’t Steve Carlton. Hell, he’s not even Tom Glavine. Oft-injured lefty and changeup specialist John Tudor might be more like it.

Continue reading this story ...

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Hamels: 'Nothing to worry about'

Cole HamelsTAMPA - Just drove over the Causeway to George M. Steinbrenner Field from Clearwater where the Phillies will take on the annoying (and pretentious) Yankees this afternoon. Clearly the biggest story here - after Cole Hamels, of course - is Kyle Kendrick taking the mound in what could be a make-or-break outing. But back to the Yankees for a minute ... they certainly have a right to strut the way they do because they almost made the playoffs last year.

Still, the WFC Phillies must have breathed a sigh of relief this morning when Hamels told us that his left forearm trouble is something that occurs every year and might clear up with a shot and/or some rest.

Meanwhile, Hamels says he's going to feel good about getting out of Florida for a few days.

Stay tuned to CSNPhilly.com because we will be updating the main stories over there throughout the day.

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Hamels headed home

Just watched Cole Hamels play catch with Jamie Moyer. A few minutes after that, the Phils' lefty performed some fielding drills on the side field behind the main ballpark. Just your normal spring training day for Hamels.

The difference, of course, is that the lefty will be heading to the airport this afternoon to catch a flight back to Philadelphia. Once there, Hamels will pay a visit to Dr. Michael Ciccotti about the elbow "soreness" he's felt during camp.

Make that, "persistent soreness."

"We don't feel that it's serious, but again, I don't have a crystal ball," general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said. "I can't look inside his elbow. We just want to be cautious, and we thought it was important that he sees our doctor in Philly."

Nope, it doesn't sound good.

more coming ...

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A rest day for Hamels?

We should be in position to take care of business ourselves. We shouldn’t have to depend on anyone. I said that from day one. -- Charlie Manuel

  For the first time in his… well, ever, Cole Hamels made it through an entire season without an injury. Of course, that feat hasn’t been finalized yet because the Phils’ lefty very well might have one more start this season.

Or he might not. It’s still up in the air.

Obviously, there are a few variables to be worked out before a decision is reached on whether Hamels will pitch in Game 162 for the Phillies or if he is held out for Game 1 of the NLDS. For instance, if the Phillies sew up the NL East on Saturday, Hamels will close the season with a 14-10 record, 3.09 ERA and a league-best 227 1/3 innings.

For a guy who never went a full season without a trip to the disabled list, the amount of innings Hamels piled up is significant.

However, Hamels could pile on some more if the Phillies have not clinched the NL East by Sunday. Even if the team sews up a wild-card spot heading into the last day, Hamels will go to the mound to bring home the division.

Needless to say, manager Charlie Manuel would like the Phillies to take care of business as quickly as possible. That’s obvious, though it isn’t so much as to have Hamels for the first game in the playoffs – it’s to give the kid a break.

“You have to take care of your club,” Manuel said. “You have to do what you think is best for your team.”

The worry isn’t that Hamels is tired physically after his first full season – not at all. Manuel said Hamels hasn’t shown any signs of wear and tear this late into the season. No, the concern for Manuel and the Phillies is that Hamels could be a little burnt mentally.

Not that Hamels has shown signs of that, either.

Anyway, there are still a bunch of moving parts that will come into clearer focus by the end of the night. Chances are we will have a pretty good idea where and who the Phillies will play when the postseason begins on Oct. 1.

Here’s how it shakes out for the Phillies:

  • If the Phillies win the NL East and the Mets win the wild card, the Phillies will play the Dodgers in the NLDS.
  • If the Phillies win the NL East and the Brewers win the wild card, the Phillies will play the Brewers in the NLDS.
  • If the Mets win the NL East and the Phillies win the wild card, the Phillies will play the Cubs in the NLDS.
  • If the Phillies and Mets finish the season tied in the NL East and with a better record than the Brewers, the Mets win the division because of their 11-7 record against the Phillies. The Phillies win the wild card.
  • If the Phillies and Mets finish the season tied in the NL East, but have a worse record than the Brewers, the Phillies would play the Mets in a one-game playoff Monday at Citizens Bank Park.
  • If the Phillies, Mets and Brewers finish the season tied, the Phillies would host the Mets in a one-game playoff to decide the NL East title Monday at Citizens Bank Park. If the Phillies lose, they would host the Brewers in a one-game playoff for the wild card Tuesday at Citizens Bank Park. If the Mets lose to the Phillies on Monday, they would host the Brewers in a one-game playoff Tuesday at Shea Stadium.
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    Sunday morning: Hamels steps up

    PROGRAMMING NOTE: We are going LIVE during the second game of the day-night doubleheader against the Brewers. With no local television broadcast available and limited terrestrial radio outside of the Philadelphia region, I will give inning-by-inning synopses during the night cap. The format will be similar to past live offerings, though we may attempt to sneak in a little extra fun with a  chat or something like that. Anyway, be sure to dial it up or go to CSN for the latest. Back to your regularly scheduled post...

    Cole Hamels isn't shy about telling people what he wants to achieve during his baseball career. Ask him and he'll say he wants to have a career as long as Jamie Moyer. Hamels also wants to pitch a few no-hitters, take home a bunch of Cy Young Awards and be enshrined in the Hall of Fame when it's all over.

    Certainly such claims can sound boastful when read in print, but that's hardly the case when Hamels says it. In fact, it comes out rather matter-of-factly, as if it's a typical cliché answer to a regular old question.

    Yeah, I'm going to take it one day at a time and hopefully I'll be in the Hall of Fame.

    But Hamels is wise enough to understand that legacies and greatness are not contrived solely from the numbers on the stat page. After all, anyone can pile up numbers. That's easy. The true test is delivering in the really big games when post-season glory is on the line.

    Hamels hasn't had too many chances in so-called clutch starts, but the four he has pitched in run the gamut. Last Sunday at Shea Stadium Hamels came back on short rest with a chance to pitch the Phillies into a first-place tie with the Mets on national TV, but came up with a real clunker in a 6-3 loss. Needless to say, a win in that game could have gone a long way for the Phillies.

    Prior to last Sunday's big thud, Hamels was both awful and brilliant in Game 1 of last season's NLDS. After a rough and sweaty second inning in which the Rockies put the Phillies in a deep hole, Hamels rebounded to retire 13 in a row and 15 of the final 16 hitters he faced.

    Saturday afternoon's victory over the free-falling Brewers wasn't as great as the Sept. 28, 2007 outing in which Hamels whiffed 13 hitters and put the Phillies into first place, but definitely was clutch. Knowing that his season will be remembered for what he does these last two weeks, Hamels needed 113 pitches to grind out 6 1/3 innings to beat the Brewers for his 13th win. But in doing so he gave the Phillies a chance to move into a first-place tie in the wild-card race as early as Sunday night.

    "It's all about the team and the win, especially now," Hamels said.  

    "We want to play in October. We don't want to be going home. Guys are kicking it in."

    Most notably (and it's about time!) two of the guys kicking it in are Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins.

    Rollins has had some nice Septembers in the last few years like when he put together that epic hitting streak and surged to the MVP Award. Luckily for the Phillies, he is at it again. In 11 games this month, Rollins is batting .362 with two homers, seven RBIs and a .417 on-base percentage.

    In 2005 Howard set the rookie record for most homers during September and might be making a case for a second MVP Award this month. So far Howard has six homers, 17 RBIs and a .366 batting average. In doing that, Howard became the first player to pile up three straight 130-plus RBI seasons since Sammy Sosa from 1998 to 2001.

    "There's definitely more emphasis on things that are done in September," Rollins said. "This last month, that's all people are going to be talking about."

    Yes. Yes they are.

    ***

    Beg, borrow, buy or steal a copy of the book Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. Quite simply, the novel is a masterwork and a once-in-an-era work by a writer whose life ended way, way too short. Luckily for us, his work remains.

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    Encore!

    Cole HamelsSo the big Cole Hamels vs. Johan Santana matchup was kind of good. It wasn't one of those transcendent matchups like we always heard about when Bob Gibson took on Robin Roberts or Sandy Koufax and all of those other great pitchers from a generation or two or go, but that's not the fault of the pitchers. There just aren't enough great pitchers to go around to have those classic matchups the way they used to.

    Nevertheless, Hamels likely will square off against Santana again this season and it has already pitched in a much-hyped showdown against Roger Clemens during his first season in the big leagues. Of that outing Hamels wasn't so much geeked up about pitching against Clemens as he was about hitting against him. In fact, the single Hamels rapped out was the only one Clemens surrendered that day.

    Hamels didn't get any hits against Santana last night, but for the first seven innings of the game most of his teammates didn't either. Santana was crafty and sneakily good against the Phillies. He allowed a just one hit through the first six innings before Chase Utley led off the seventh with a solo shot into the bullpen in deep right-center. More impressively, Santana got 10 strikeouts against the first 23 hitters he faced.

    The impressive part about that was Santana threw just 14 first-pitch strikes to the 26 hitters he faced. That's just OK... if that. It certainly wasn't as good as the first-strike ratio Hamels posted (22 for 28), which means a couple of things. One is Santana was sharp until he reached the 100-pitch plateau and a second is that the Mets were up there hacking early at Hamels.

    Hamels noticed that. After the game he said it seemed as if the Mets' book on him was to get after him early in the count to avoid falling into a hole and putting the young lefty in position to use his batting-average destroying changeup.

    "Because I've been around for two years there's plenty of video on me," Hamel said. "Hitters are swinging early in the count and not waiting for my ‘out' pitch."

    As a result, the Mets forced the Phillies error-prone defense to make plays. When they didn't (misplays by Jayson Werth and Ryan Howard proved costly), Hamels' frustration showed.

    "Some things caught up with me tonight," Hamels said. "I definitely showed my emotions on the field, dropping my head a few times going, ‘How did that happen?' But I'll see these guys again, and I'll make the adjustments."

    Perhaps he'll even see Santana, though Hamels claimed he would be more prone to get caught up in the hype of the rivalry if he weren't pitching. When he's on the mound, Hamels says, the focus is on the Mets' hitters and not the opposing pitcher. The new-age Carlton-Seaver/Phillies-Mets matchup was almost lost on Hamels, who was more concerned with the four hits David Wright got than anything else.

    Still, Hamels tipped his hand that he had some idea that Santana was stringing up the goose eggs on the scoreboard. For as much as he downplayed the big-time matchup, deep down Hamels knew Friday night's game was different.

    That can explain the uncharacteristic displays of frustration on the field after a few plays.

    "There definitely isn't much margin for error," Hamels said. "He's always going to be able to have success. When you go into a game, you know it's going to be low-scoring and you hope you're on the right side of it. He has phenomenal stuff that he can get away with mistakes."

    Any way you slice it following the first installment, Hamels v. Santana could turn out to be baseball's best pitching duel in one of its better rivalries.

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    Follow the money

    Cole HamelsCole Hamels is on the right path. Understanding that it's going to take a lot more effort and diligence off the field to be able to take the ball every five days, the Phillies' ace lefty did a total makeover to his training regime a few years ago. It wasn't just the pedantic stuff like cleaning up his diet and getting plenty of rest, either. Nope, Hamels researched and consulted people close to him and determined that in order to be the best baseball pitcher, he was going to have do things that athletes do.

    That meant beer was out, which, as Hamels said a few years ago: "It's really the worst thing for you."

    In a sport that clings to its old mores and traditions like grim death, beer is still a clubhouse staple in a lot of cities. Even the storied St. Louis Cardinals are nearly synonymous with the Busch family and Budweiser. But according to Chris Carmichael, the fitness guru and longtime trainer for Lance Armstrong, Hamels is definitely onto something.

    Says Carmichael:

    "The dehydrating impact of alcohol trumps the benefits from the carbohydrate, and it's also important to realize that alcohol itself is primarily metabolized to fatty acids rather than to usable carbohydrate energy. Yes, it originated as carbohydrate-grains, grapes, corn, whatever-but now it's alcohol and your body treats it differently. There's actually not much usable carbohydrate energy in beer or wine."

    More notably, Hamels was the catalyst behind the Phillies relenting and hiring a cadre of chiropractors around the league so that players can visit for adjustments or active release treatments, which is a combination of deep-tissue massage, stretching and manipulation to alleviate problems with muscles, tendons, ligaments, fascia and nerves. Again, chiropractic treatments are nothing new for athletes in other sports - it's old news, in fact. But in baseball, unless it's a cortisone shot followed by a paper cup filled with beer, it's innovation.

    Nevertheless, Hamels is the pitcher of the new generation. Soon, guys like him will be the norm instead of just a handful of open-minded baseball players.

    So yeah, in terms of putting together a long, successful baseball career, Hamels (still just 24-years old) is doing all of the right things.

    It's just that he really hasn't done much yet to be considered any contract offer "a low blow."

    That's how Hamels described his current contract with the Phillies which was renewed yesterday when he and the team did not come to terms. Though he made $400,000 last season, Hamels characterized the $500,000 renewal as disappointing.

    "They do want to keep you happy, and that will affect down the line with certain things that come up because you can't just all of a sudden throw everything out at (a player) at the last second and think that's really going to make him happy, because he's still got check marks for what they didn't do in the years before.
    "I felt like it wasn't necessarily equal compensation for what I do and for what I can do," Hamels said.

    Clearly the team's best pitcher, Hamels won a team-best 15 games last season, went to the All-Star Game and finished sixth in the Cy Young Award balloting. More importantly, Hamels is the pitcher the Phillies tabbed to start the first post-season game in 14 years for the franchise last October. Clearly, in regard to his pitching, the Phillies like Hamels very much.

    " I'm a little surprised. It's about respect, and when people don't show that to you, you're caught off guard. I thought it was a low blow.
    "I felt it wasn't necessarily equal compensation for what I do and for what I can do. I have to follow the ladder of other guys, some who play every day, and I know I'm not in that category, but you want to feel like you're getting equally compensated for what you do on the field compared to other people that are in the same league."

    Oh, but that's not how it works, young fella. Not in baseball, anyway. Or at least, not usually. Sure, there are a few players who received large contracts based on future potential as opposed to accomplishment, but teams have a way of closing up the check book after getting burned. Could it be that Hamels is being penalized for other bad deals?

    Or could it be that Hamels is a victim of the Phillies' team-record $106 million payroll? Considering the Phillies are still paying Jim Thome for the next two seasons, perhaps there isn't much left over for the lefty ace?

    Or could it be that Hamels is drawing a very fair salary for someone with his Major League service? At similar points of their careers, Hamels is making more than Chien-Ming Wang, Dontrelle Willis and Scott Kazmir. Plus, with another big season in '08, Hamels could do really well next winter if he becomes eligible for arbitration as a "Super Two" player.

    But the idea that Hamels can make it through an entire season without some kind of setback doesn't seem realistic. Oh sure, he's as fit and strong as any pitcher on the team, but history is difficult to argue with. After all, Hamels has never made through an entire season without an injury or a stint on the disabled list. Even last year when he led the team with 15 wins, Hamels only made it to the mound for 28 starts.

    Better yet, in his first four pro seasons Hamels pitched just 201 innings in 36 starts. In 2006, with a two-week disabled-list stint mixed in, the lefty went 181 innings. Last year he pitched 183 and missed a chunk of the later portion of the season with tendonitis.

    In other words it's show-and-prove time for Hamels. If he wants the money he thinks he deserves, he has to go out there and pitch for it. And it's not just 25 to 28 starts or 180 innings for 15 or 16 wins. Instead, Hamels has to figure out how to go all 162. If he does that, he won't get low-balled any more. ... even though he's signed up with the Phillies until 2012.

    So far, though, Hamels is on the right path.

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    Hamels: It's casual

    Cole HamelsGood morning from the windy, chilly and overcast Gulf Coast, folk(s). We'll get into it in a bit as soon as we take care of some important business, and finding some coffee here at the park. How can they not have coffee - it's just some hot water poured over some ground up beans. Sheesh!

    In the meantime, left-hander ace-in-the-waiting Cole Hamels talked to reporters about NOT getting the Opening Day start on March 31 against the Nats at the Bank. Guess what? He's cool with it. Better yet, he kind of likes going second.

    "I actually don’t mind him being first," Hamels said. "I kind of like it."

    Clicky click here to listen to what he told the reporters.

    I even wrote about it right here.

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    Phillies vs. Mets on Monday?

    Cole HamelsCole Hamels is in the bullpen warming up, the fans are filtering into the sold-out ballpark and the oppressive humid has finally broken and given way to a decidedly autumnal tinge.

    It feels like playoff baseball time[1].

    Meanwhile, the word filtered down from New York City that despite all of the bluster to the contrary, the Mets have resigned themselves to participating in a playoff game in Philadelphia on Monday. If such an event were to occur, people will need tickets for the game. So when and if a playoff game is scheduled for Monday and/or Tuesday, the Phillies announced they will sell tickets.

    Here’s the Phillies’ announcement:

    In order to prepare and plan, the Phillies are announcing that tickets will go on public sale once the tie-breaking game has been deemed necessary.

    Full season ticket holders (81 games) have been mailed their locations. Season ticket holders and E-Mail Club members will be offered the opportunity to purchase tie-breaker tickets in advance of the public sale.

    Tickets may be purchased on Sunday (once a game has been deemed necessary) via the following outlets:

    ONLINE: www.phillies.com.

    When ordering via the internet, the Phillies suggest choosing the convenient “print at home” option. Access to the internet is available 24 hours a day.

    PHONE CENTER: (215) 463-1000. Again, once the game has been deemed necessary, the Phone Center will be open Sunday until 10:00 p.m. . . . Phone lines will open again at 8:00 a.m. on Monday.

    The Phillies suggest fans choose the “print at home” option or pick up their will call tickets well in advance of the game, either Sunday night or early Monday morning.

    IN PERSON: Two Citizens Bank Park locations: (1) First Base Gate ticket windows (on Pattison Avenue) and (2) West ticket windows (on Citizens Bank Way, adjacent to the Majestic Clubhouse Store). Hours: Sunday until 10:00 p.m. The ticket windows will reopen at 8:00 a.m. on Monday.

    ***

    WillieSpeaking of the New York Mets, there was a helluva quote in the Oct. 1, 2007 edition of the New York Observer from a story written by John Koblin. In the story headlined, “Gutsy Mr. Metsie,” all about how Mets’ skipper Willie Randolph is dealing with his team’s “September Swoon,” veteran lefty pitcher Tom Glavine is on the record saying:

    “Sometimes when you’re a team as talented as we are—I don’t know if I’d use the word ‘bored,’ but I guess you can get complacent sometimes. You don’t pay attention to details every now and then because you do have a ton of talent and think you can on most days do everything you wanna do.”

    So the Mets are collapsing because they are so good? They haven’t been paying attention to details?

    I wonder if their curiosity has been piqued now?


    [1] Not that most of us in the Phillies’ writing press corps actually knows what “playoff baseball” feels like. A lot of us have floated out into unchartered waters.

    [2] a.k.a: a choke job of epic proportions

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    Down the stretch they come

    Aaron RowandWASHINGTON – The Mets had the Heimlich performed last weekend in Florida, just in time to return home to Shea Stadium to host the hapless Nationals for three games. With a 2½ game lead over the Phillies heading into the final week of the season, the Mets have all but wrapped up the NL East. Based on the numbers from Sports Club Stats, the Mets have a 95.7 percent chance to make it to the playoffs. Only a monumental collapse against the Nats, Cards and Marlins can stop them now.

    But for the Phillies, it has come down to the last six games. At worst – minimally – the Phillies can go 4-2. But that number comes without taking the Padres’ results into consideration. By going 4-2, the Phillies would force a one-game playoff in San Diego if the Padres limp home at 4-3. And based on last weekend’s showing against Colorado, it’s possible that Padres could be hitting a bad slump at the wrong time.

    Still, there is one gnarly-looking monkey wrench that could be thrown in the middle of all of this:

    The Atlanta Braves are coming to town.

    Here’s a prediction – the Phillies will sweep the Nationals at the Bank in the final series of the season this weekend. Washington is a tired team, with a spent pitching staff and has nothing at stake when they face the Mets and Phillies this week. The team has its bags packed; lockers cleaned out of the ready-to decay RFK Stadium, and are focused on vacations and chilaxin’ while the playoffs rage. Sure, there’s professional pride and all of that stuff (manager Charlie Manuel was quite laudatory to Nats’ skipper Manny Acta for putting his best players out there last weekend), but tired is tired. The Nats look ready for a break.

    So that leaves the Braves, who are clinging to the ledge of the playoff race by their fingernails. Standing three games behind the Phillies, the Braves could climb back in the chase with a sweep and some cooperation from the Padres (and Rockies). Most of all, though, the Braves will be happy to knock out the Phillies from contention. With aces Tim Hudson and John Smoltz scheduled to pitch the first two games of the series, the Braves are not coming to town just to play out the string.

    Come on, just one more … Chuck In just his second start in the last 37 days and first since a three-inning, 65-pitch battle in St. Louis, lefty Cole Hamels looked pretty sharp yesterday’s outing at RFK. In five innings, Hamels allowed just two hits and a pair of walks with six strikeouts. Best of all, Hamels’ fastball looked to have a lot of zip (yeah, zip) on it, which always comes in handy for a guy whose best pitch is a changeup.

    But Manuel yanked Hamels out of the game after just five innings because he had thrown 76 pitches. The skipper did this even though Hamels retired the last eight hitters he faced and didn’t seem to be taxing himself all that much in working through his last three innings.

    Could Hamels have pitched into the sixth without overextending himself?

    Sure, he said... But then again, Hamels acknowledged that he doesn’t exactly have the best history with injuries.

    “It's a little difficult to say when they don't let me know what my pitch count is,” Hamels told the writers. “That would be nice. I know my body better than anybody else. I guess that's the whole point in asking. But I think it takes that experience to have the say-so. I think it would be easier for Jamie Moyer to say, 'No, I'm going to go back out there,' than myself.”

    Manuel was in one of those damned-if-you-do/damned-if-you-don’t, second-guessing situations that has pretty much defined his three seasons in Philadelphia . But, Manuel explained, Hamels has to be treated very gingerly for the time being.

    “Cole is still on a rehab, of course,” Manuel said. “We would have loved to leave him in there.”

    So it just figured that as soon as Hamels exited the game, reliever Antonio Alfonseca came in during the sixth and gave the Nats the lead they would never relinquish.

    Revisiting Eddie Ed Wade We were even more busy than usual last Thursday when the news of ex-Phillies GM Ed Wade had taken over the same post with the Houston Astros. During an eight-year run that was marked by rebuilding and underachieving, Wade became “a lightning rod for the negativity” at the end of his time with the Phillies.

    So when I first heard the news broadcasted over the car radio, I nearly had to pull over so that I could properly decipher the announcement.

    Instead, I drove on.

    That initial start gave way to rational thought. Of course Ed Wade was going to get another job as a Major League general manager. Why wouldn’t he? Wade is a good “baseball man,” who has given his professional life to the game. He has also worked at just about every job there is in Major League ball, and is generally well-liked all across the profession.

    So why wouldn’t he land in another GM position? Guys like Ed Wade always land on their feet, except, of course, when they don’t.

    Anyway, Jim Salisbury’s column on Wade in Sunday’s Inquirer was very interesting. You should read it.

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    Time to 'man up'

    Cole HamelsOne of the topics missed yesterday was Cole Hamels’ three-inning outing in which he was held to a tight pitch count. The outing was Hamels’ first start in 32 days and needless to say, he wasn’t as sharp as he would have liked. But the bigger issue wasn’t that Hamels lasted just three innings and gave up three runs. The bigger issue was that the young lefty used up his 54 pitches in just three innings. Certainly that puts a heavy burden on a bullpen that doesn’t need any extra lifting, though perhaps this is a bad time to be faulting Hamels for being rusty in his first time out in over a month. After all, the relievers ended up allowing just one run in 11 innings in the 7-4 victory in St. Louis.

    Still, if Hamels is going to make two more starts he’s going to have to be a little more efficient. Sure, he will probably throw approximately 75 pitches in Sunday’s start at RFK, but these days the Phillies need the starters to make the game shorter for the ‘pen. With 10 games to go, there will be more than enough heavy lifting to go around. If Hamels is serious about pitching this season, he should grab the big end. There will be plenty of time to rest up in the winter.

    Besides, manager Charlie Manuel says it will take 89 to 90 victories to get into the playoffs. At 82-70, the Phillies will have to be pretty darn good in the final 10 games. At a minimum they have to win every remaining series…

    They can start with a sweep in The District.

    On the road again Dikembe Speaking of The District, RFK is sure to be overrun with Phillies fans this weekend. In fact, I’ll wager that the Phillies fans outnumber the Nationals fans – if there is such a thing.

    So for those making the short drive from the Philadelphia area to DC, and looking for something to do before the ballgames, well, you don’t need me to tell you about the museums and the monuments.

    But for those who like to get off the beaten path and stay away from the touristy-type places, it’s always fun to meander through Georgetown. Here’s what to do: go get breakfast/lunch at Billy Martin’s on Wisconsin and then weave in and out of the tree-lined neighborhood streets.

    Do you want to know who lives in some of those houses? No. 3307 N St. was where JFK and Jackie lived until they moved to the White House in 1961. No. 3018 on Dumbarton Avenue is where a Supreme Court Justice (Felix Frankfurter) and two Secretaries of State (Henry Kissinger and Cy Vance) lived. Alger Hiss lived at 2905 P Street, which was a half block down from a house JFK rented at 2808 P Street. Cold warrior and former secretary of state Dean Acheson lived across the street at 2805 P.

    For more notable G-town houses, check out this Flickr site. Sadly, I still can’t locate the M St. bar where Dikembe Mutombo asked his famous question when he was still a Georgetown undergrad. In the meantime, the location of Felix Frankfurter’s crib will have to do.

    Like opening for Hendrix Typically when professional athletes wax on about serious issues, I always end up hearing Chris Tucker recite his famous line from those movies he does with Jackie Chan.

    Nope, I didn’t see it either.

    Anyway, I rarely have had those Chris Tucker moments during Donovan McNabb’s many chats with the local press over the years, but the recent bit over his comments on HBO and the aftermath got it going.

    But I’m hardly an expert on Donovan McNabb or the Eagles, so I’ll leave the analysis over his on-the-field and off-the-field issues to smarter people. However, it was quite poignant to note that the McNabb piece on HBO’s “Real Sports” was followed by a segment about an up-and-coming runner who was one of the Sudanese Lost Boys.

    I can just imagine that production meeting:

    “Hey, what do we follow the whiny, overpaid jock story with?”

    “How about the story about the runner from Sudan who was orphaned when government troops attacked his village and killed his family? That should be an interesting contrast.”

    I suppose the parallel was lost on a few folks.

    Floyd update Yes, the word on the Floyd Landis case is expected to come down by Friday (or Saturday… maybe Sunday). To help lighten the work load (we have an extremely small staff here at CSN.com) I’ve been writing ahead, which could be a bad idea if the result is the opposite from the way I have been shaping the story.

    There’s no point here. I'm just sayin'.

    *** More coming from DC...

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    The clown show is on hiatus

    Note: Beginning now this site is going on a two-week hiatus. As most regular readers know, my wife and I are expecting our second child (a boy) any day. But now that we are more than a week past the due date and since her cervix is like one of those old-fashioned steel bear traps, the natural process needs some prodding. Therefore, we go to the hospital on Thursday night with the hope of delivering the big boy on Friday.

    It should be noted that Friday is also the birth day for Yasser Arafat, Vince McMahon, Cal Ripken Jr., Reggie Miller and Dave Chappelle.

    Anyway, I will be checking in from time to time, but I will not return with regular posts until September 7. When we return expect something of a new look, structure and organization… maybe even a redesign, too.

    Like anyone who has devoted time to baseball, I know that statistics are not worth the paper they are printed on. They lie and can be manipulated to prove bogus points. Statistics also cannot quantify health, heart, ability and whether or not someone has put hard workouts to be prepared for a long season. Plus, stats don’t go into the clubhouse and get a feel of the mood of the room or have to go face-to-face with a player it may have lied about.

    Statistics are cowards. Sports are for playing, not watching – we hold these truths to be self evident.

    But sometimes it is difficult to debate the statistics. For instance, in pushing the streak of not winning a series in Pittsburgh since June of 2001, the Phillies were outscored by the Pirates 15-2 from the seventh inning on last weekend at PNC Park or whatever the hell corporation owns the naming rights now.

    Yeah, that’s right, 15-2… against the Pirates… the worst team in the National League.

    So I’m going to cherry pick that one specific statistic to show that the Phillies might not have the pitching needed to get to the playoffs. Then again, it wasn’t like anyone needed a stat for that.

    Pitching aside, the Phillies should have a really good idea of how the last month of the season will play out at the end of the next 10 days. With three games against the Dodgers and three more against both the Padres and the Mets – the two teams the Phillies are chasing in different playoff races – the playoff race is right in front of the team.

    For the Phillies, 5-5 is treading water, 6-4 is reasonable; and 7-3 and better is ideal. But anything worse than .a 500 homestand could be the beginning of the beginning of the end.

    According to Ryan Howard the Phillies control their own destiny... they also take them one game at a time and give 110 percent.

    “This is a big series for us and the good thing is that we control our own destiny,” Howard said before Tuesday’s game against the Dodgers. “There will be a little bit of scoreboard watching going on, but most of it will be us trying to handle our own business.”

    Scoreboard watching, huh?

    “The scoreboard sits right there in front of us so we can’t help but not look at it,” manager Charlie Manuel said on Tuesday. “It’s about that time of the year and that can be good.”

    ***
    Meanwhile, Chase Utley could return in a week after being cleared to take some swings with a bat for the first time after breaking his wrist at the end of July.

    “(I) took some swings off the tee – started with the fungo and moved to my regular bat. I didn’t swing 100 percent but it felt pretty good,” Utley offered.

    Based on his recovery from day to day, Utley hopes to add a little more volume to his workouts as he looks to his return.

    ***
    But the injury bug has reared its head again… Cole Hamels has been scratched from tomorrow’s start with some left elbow tenderness. From the initial, knee-jerk reaction it doesn’t seem to be anything other than late-season tiredness, but pitchers’ arms are quite mysterious.

    Regardless, Hamels is being diagnosed with a mild elbow strain and will have a precautionary MRI tomorrow.

    “He was up front with us so I hope we got it early,” pitching coach Rich Dubee said.

    ***
    Though one current Dodger pitcher once told me that “sometimes injuries just happen,” I respectfully disagreed. Injuries always happen for a reason – sometimes we can’t figure out what the reason is, but as our boy Floyd said, all it takes is the proper training:

    “There's only one rule: The guy who trains the hardest, the most, wins. Period. Because you won't die. Even though you feel like you'll die, you don't actually die. Like when you're training, you can always do one more. Always. As tired as you might think you are, you can always, always do one more.

    “If you overtrained, it means that you didn't train hard enough to handle that level of training. So you weren't overtrained; you were actually undertrained to begin with. So there's the rule again: The guy who trains the hardest, the most, wins."

    Learn it. Live it. Love it.

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    Just hangin' out on a Friday night

    Just a couple of things this afternoon/evening before I fade into working my tip-tap-tapping fingers away writing the night away…

    Could a doubleheader sweep by the Mets be the beginning of the end for the Phillies? The notion that the Phillies could have moved into first place by beating up on the New Yorkers was a bit far-fetched, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. But as it stands at this precise moment (top of the eighth inning), John Maine is dealing and the Mets appear as if they are about to push the lead in the NL East to five games.

    Regardless, it was nice to see that Chris Coste announced his presence with the Phillies with authority. In his first AB since being called up from Reading late last night, Coste went deep by smashing a pinch homer into the seats.

    On another note, could Cole Hamels be a little tired? He seems to have hit a bit of a wall as the mathematical first half comes to a close and he really hasn’t had the same zip on his change the last handful of outings…

    Dead arm?

    ***
    I had a nice chat this afternoon with 2006 Tour de France champion Floyd Landis up in his old stomping grounds of Ephrata, Pa. My stories about Floyd will appear on CSN on Sunday and will be promoted very heavily by the crack marketing staff at CSN all day Monday.

    Additionally, Floyd will appear on CSN on Daily News Live from 5-to-5:30 p.m. on Monday uninterrupted, where we will talk about all the details of his case, cycling, the book tour, his future and everything else.

    Anyway, look for the stories on Sunday. I will post the links here when everything is finished as well as a few snippets of the actual interview that I recorded with my trusty iPod.

    Meanwhile, I’ll give my knee-jerk impression of Floyd… if charm and class are part of his defense then he wins. He’s definitely a top-notch dude all the way. Having had the chance to talk to hundreds of professional athletes over the past decade, Floyd is at the top of the list as far as interesting and engaging guys. He very definitely could have mailed it in with me after going through thousands of questions and other crap over the past year, but he was intent on having a real conversation and taking me seriously.

    It’s too bad he doesn’t play for the Phillies.

    I’d definitely put Floyd up there with Scott Rolen, Doug Glanville, Randy Wolf and Mark Grace as far as the absolute best guys to talk to… a top-notch and classy dude all the way.

    For some reason I was surprised at how fit Floyd still was. Though he hasn’t been training and didn’t touch a bike at all over the 10 days of his arbitration hearing, Floyd looked ready to go though he admitted that he has some work to do if he wants to ride better in the Leadville 100 in August in comparison to how he rode in the Teva Mountain Games earlier this month.

    Regarding his rough ride in the Teva Mountain Games, Floyd said, “I got beat by a girl. Not just one girl, but two. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not something I’m used to.”

    I don’t know what I was expecting him to look like, but was definitely looked much more fit than me and I run 15 miles every day.

    Oh yeah... minutes after I left, Floyd's wife was in an accident. Fortunately, everyone was OK.

    ***
    I had the chance to meet Dave Pidgeon of the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal while waiting for Floyd this afternoon. Dave is the keeper of a stellar outdoors blog on his papers’ site, but politics is his main beat. Still, it's pretty clear that Dave knows his sports as evidenced by his work.

    ***
    My friend Andy is an analyst for The Motley Fool in the D.C. 'burbs, and was quoted in an Associated Press story about Blockbuster shutting down 280-plus shops. That's certainly not big news, but his quote in the story is something else.

    Check this out:

    "Traffic is just not what it used to be when Blockbuster was the big rooster in the hen house," said Andy Cross, senior analyst with The Motley Fool.

    Rooster in the hen house? What kind of hillbilly stuff is that?

    I guess it beats, "We just take 'em one day at a time... "

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    Coste to Coast

    It was hard not to smile when Charlie Manuel announced that the Phillies had recalled Chris Coste from Double-A Reading after last night’s rainy, soggy, humid, sloppy and long game against the Cincinnati Reds at the Bank. For one thing, Coste’s arrival back to Philadelphia (for the third time) will be a move the fans will applaud. Even cynical media-types like me have a hard time not getting a little weak in the knees when hearing Coste’s story and perseverance.

    Aside from that, I truly believe Coste was shafted by the Phillies.

    No, it wasn’t anything sinister or conspiratorial or anything like that, but the Phillies had no qualms about sending Coste out on all of the team’s winter caravan stops at all of the distant outposts to get the fans excited, and the manager was saying all sorts of laudatory things about his hitting. But all along the general manager was looking for someone else to fill Coste’s spot. Where Manuel talked up Coste, Pat Gillick threw a wet blanket on everyone’s good time and then went out and spent $3 million on Rod Barajas.

    Let’s see: $3 million for Rod Barajas or the league minimum for Chris Coste… money well spent?

    No.

    Certainly Barajas has a better Major League pedigree than Coste, but when the movie comes out on everyone’s favorite backup catcher, Barajas ain’t gonna be in it. Besides, Coste didn’t do anything to warrant a trip back to the minors aside from hit .328 with seven home runs in a pennant race. Anything close to that would be a career year for Barajas.

    ***
    Let’s leave the bullpen and Pat Burrell alone today… chances are he’ll be below the Mendoza Line by the holiday. That is, of course, if he plays -- Burrell is not in the lineup for Friday afternoon's opening game. That's the fifth game in a row in which Burrell is on the bench and eighth game in the last 11.

    ***
    Is anyone else looking forward to Cole Hamels facing Paul Lo Duca in tonight’s nightcap? That is, of course, if there is one.

    Lo Duca and David Wright of the Mets are the Matthew Barnaby and Danny Ainge of baseball… fun guys.

    Nevertheless, the Phillies-Mets rivalry is turning into a pretty good one. It really seems as if the teams don't particularly care for each other and that is pretty entertaining.

    ***
    For the gang in the press box...

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMebclpHbo4]

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    Jose Mesa to the rescue!

    Wait… didn’t the Phillies just sweep the Mets at Shea?

    It didn’t take Johnny Sain or Kreskin to figure out something was wrong with Freddy Garcia last night in Kansas City. From the first pitch it appeared as if Garcia, the Phillies’ big off-season acquisition, was even more out of sorts than usual. His pacing around the mound looked much more deliberate and his pace slowed from its normal pedestrian rate to a crawl.

    Instead of using an hour glass to time Garcia’s sauntering between pitches, the league shifted to a sundial.

    But more than Garcia’s unhurried work, the most telling part of the short, five outs outing against the lowly Kansas City Royals was the big pitcher’s velocity. Instead of topping the 90-mph mark, Garcia struggled to throw his fastball in the mid-80s. He would have had difficulty breaking a pane of glass with his heater.

    Jamie Moyer could have thrown a fastball with more alacrity.

    “When I took him out of the game, I walked him downstairs and started talking to him,” manager Charlie Manuel said. “I asked him his shoulder. I told him if he's hurt, I don't want him pitching. I told him, ‘The way you're throwing, it definitely looks like to me that you're hurt.’ He's a mentally tough guy and wants to pitch, but at the same time -- then he told me his shoulder was sore.”

    So here we go again. Suddenly the team’s big off-season pick-up appears to be injured again. Though Garcia won’t be examined until Monday in Philadelphia -- coincidentally when his former team the Chicago White Sox turn up at the Bank -- another trip to the disabled list appears inevitable.

    “I told him, basically, I do not want somebody who is hurt pitching,” Manuel said. “I want you pitching 100 percent. If there is anything wrong with you, I have to know it. He wanted to talk about it. He was upset because his performance wasn't good. We'll check him out and see what's wrong with him.”

    Said Garcia: “Monday I'll check it out and see what's going on with my shoulder. I've got to stop pitching. I don't want to pitch the way I've been pitching. If it is not 100 percent in my shoulder, there's nothing I can do.”

    If you are scoring at home, that’s pitchers Garcia, Brett Myers and Tom Gordon out with shoulder ailments. In the minors, pitchers Kyle Drabek, Joe Bisenius and J.A. Happ are all on the disabled list.

    What the… ?

    With Garcia likely headed to the disabled list for the second time before the season has come close to reaching the halfway point, the question seems to be when was the pitcher hurt and didn’t he have a physical before the trade with the White Sox?

    Whatever the answers are, it appears as if Andy Ashby’s short time with the Phillies in 2000 will be better than Garcia’s in 2007.

    ***
    So with Garcia headed out what do the Phillies do? Why sign Jose Mesa to a minor league deal, of course.

    The Phillies won’t confirm it, but everyone seems to know that the club’s all-time saves leader is making his big comeback to Philadelphia and should join the club in Kansas City.

    Needless to say, most fans aren’t too pleased about Mesa’s prodigal return to one of his old teams, but whatever. If he can pitch a little bit, and he was decent in 79 games for the Rockies last year, it’s a good move. If he continues to pitch like he did for the Tigers in 16 appearances this season (12.34 ERA), release him.

    No big whoop.

    ***
    Speaking of no big whoop, general manager Pat Gillick reiterated that he is not leaving the Phillies to become the president of the Seattle Mariners.

    ***
    Remember how we wrote yesterday that it seems as if the Mets’ Paul Lo Duca is a jerk? Well, apparently Cole Hamels thinks so, too. Hamels, according to the story in the Wilmington News Journal says Lo Duca acted like an amateur after his sixth-inning home run on Thursday night.

    “You need to act like you've done it before,” Hamels told bulldog scribe Scott Lauber. “He's a veteran. He should know better. It's the old sacred game thing. There are little kids out there that are looking up to you. They look at what happens. That's not the right way to do things.”

    Then again, Lo Duca appears to have a history of doing things the wrong way.

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    Notes and stuff

    During the late innings of the Phillies’ victory over the Giants last night, an announcement was made in the press box informing the media that actor Danny DeVito would be available to answer questions regarding his TV show, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” in the basement conference room before Sunday’s game. At the same time it was announced that the Phillies’ director of scouting, Marti Wolever, would also be available to talk to the press about the upcoming amateur draft after DeVito was finished.

    How about this: Could we talk to DeVito about the draft and Wolever about TV shows? Maybe?

    DeVito was at the park to toss out the ceremonial first pitch prior to Sunday’s game and will be in town working on the show until June 11.

    ***
    I defy any manager at any level of organized baseball to top Phil Wellman’s hand grenade bit…

    Compare Wellman to Lou Piniella:

    Lou really needs a hug. There have to be some deep issues there. Meanwhile, it appears as if the Cubs have gotten worse.

    Try this out Philly fans: In the time since the Cubs went to their last World Series (and lost), the Phillies have been to the World Series four times.

    ***
    After last night’s game Charlie Manuel said something that sounded so basic, but was really telling:

    “When Howard’s hitting we become a totally different team,” Manuel said.

    Based on the seventh inning of Sunday’s game, it appears as if Howard is hitting.

    Meanwhile, before Saturday’s game Manuel said something that was even more interesting in that he wants to use certain pitchers in his bullpen more, but, well, he wants to win games, too.

    “In order for the bullpen to get better, we've got to pitch them,” Manuel said. “At the same time, I say to myself, ‘We're trying to win the game.’ It's a double-edged sword.”

    Manuel also said that one way to build a pitching staff was from the “back to the front.”

    Sounds like someone is leery about overusing his starters.

    “If your bullpen's weak, it puts a lot of strain on your starters,” the skipper said on Saturday. “We need to put a limit on our guys. We'll be pitching our whole staff more than they've ever pitched, or close to it.”

    The Phillies starters are 14th in the league in ERA (4.68) and fifth in innings pitched (340 1/3), while the relievers are 13th in innings (152 2/3) and 14th in ERA (4.72).

    Manuel also said that he plans on sticking with Pat Burrell (six homers, 24 RBIs, .226 avg.) even though his left fielder is having another disappointing season. However, it sounds as if Burrell is getting most of the playing time right now because he’s the guy with the big, multi-year contract that hangs like an anchor on the club.

    “When you sign somebody for a long period of time to a big contract, there's a commitment there. When's the cut-off point? I don't know. When you sign him, you commit to him.”

    Though Manuel says otherwise, it’s my opinion that if the skipper benches Burrell for an extended amount of time, he’ll hear about it from his bosses.

    ***
    One pitcher no one should be leery of overusing is Cole Hamels whose outing on Saturday night was just another spectacular chapter in a burgeoning career that should put him amongst the greats in franchise history.

    You can have Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Brett Myers, Jimmy Rollins or whomever else… Hamels IS the franchise player.

    If Jake Peavy wasn’t turning in a Bob Gibson in 1968-esque first half of the season, Hamels would be the early favorite for the league’s Cy Young Award. As it stands at this moment, the Phils’ lefty is a shoo-in for the All-Star Game next month.

    “I've seen him get better even this year,” Saturday’s catcher Rod Barajas said. “I caught him earlier in the season, and he would get emotional sometimes. He'd try to throw too hard. Now, he gives up a home run, and he stays relaxed. He was happy to quick outs all game. He's as good as anyone I've ever caught.”

    The best part about Hamels? He has an arrogance that isn’t overbearing or obnoxious and knows how good he is. He also knows his changeup is a killer.

    ***
    The Astros' Roy Oswalt is on pace to pitch approximately 260 innings this season, which is up there for this age in baseball. In fact, since Mike Scott went for 275 in 1986, no National Leaguer has gone over 270 and only two American Leaguers have reached that plateau in that time.

    Any one have a guess who for who the last pitcher to deal 300 innings in a season was? Don't cheat by looking it up...

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    Waiting for the Friday storm

    Barry Bonds, as we all know, is in town for four games this weekend. But frankly, that shouldn’t be the drawing card to the Phillies-Giants series. The big deal should be the pitching matchups, most notably Cole Hamels vs. Noah Lowry on Saturday night; the resurgent Freddy Garcia against rookie Tim Lincecum on Sunday afternoon; and Silent Jon Lieber matched up against former AL Cy Young Award winner Barry Zito in Monday afternoon’s finale.

    For folks who like baseball, pitching is the most fascinating part of the game, and there are few pitchers as interesting as Cole Hamels and Barry Zito.

    ***
    The New York tabloids are all abuzz about a well-known baseball figure hitting the town and living it up, and no, it’s not Alex Rodriguez.

    Would you believe it’s Mr. Met?

    Don’t tell me the Phillies and the Phanatic are trailing the Mets and Mr. Met in on the nightlife side of things, too? Does Pat Burrell have to carry this team?

    ***
    Speaking of fun times, Mr. Fun, Floyd Landis, is ready to return to bike racing tomorrow at the Teva Outdoor Games mountain bike race. Since this is not a sanctioned event, Landis is eligible to race despite facing a two-year ban for alleged doping in last year’s Tour de France.

    The race will be Floyd’s first time out since winning the Tour de France last July and then undergoing hip-replacement surgery 10 months ago.

    Better yet, Floyd will be in Lancaster and West Chester in the next few weeks hawking his new book, Positively False. He’ll be at the Barnes & Noble in Lancaster (I’m not giving the address because there is only one Barnes & Noble in Lancaster) on June 29 at 7 p.m. and at the Chester County Book & Music Co. on Paoli Pike in West Chester on July 2.

    I doubt he’ll offer a reading or do anything more than the grip-grin-and-sign routine, but I would assume there isn’t anything new in the book that Landis and his camp didn’t reveal at his arbitration hearing a couple of weeks ago.

    Well, I doubt the Greg LeMond stuff is in there.

    Anyway, I’m still waiting for Landis’ publisher to send a copy to me (c/o Comcast SportsNet, Wachovia Center, 3601 S. Broad St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19148 or my Lancaster address… it’s out there) so I can give it the proper review it deserves.

    Pete Rose and Rodale didn’t mind sending one out
    , so I’m sure a fellow Lancaster Countian will oblige.

    Meanwhile, don’t forget about the big 2007 Men's Pro Cycling Tour hits The Lanc on Sunday afternoon. So far I’ve heard very little hostility about the race hitting the downtown area, but it’s still early.

    Then again, maybe Queen Street will turn into a scaled down version of the Manayunk Wall?

    ***
    I had the distinct pleasure of chatting with Mike Gill of ESPN Radio 1450 in Atlantic City again yesterday afternoon. For a kid who spent the first seven years of my school career going through intensive speech therapy which including sessions at Easter Seals in Washington, D.C., I’ve come a long way if I do say so myself.

    Apparently, people tell me I used to sound like Daffy Duck when I was a kid. I guess that’s a mean thing to say, but we all laugh about it now.

    Anyway, I talked to Mike on my phone while standing along the banks of a small country stream in the outer edges of the Dutch Wonderland amusement park (when you have a 3-year old, you get a season pass and prepare to ride the Turtle Whirl a lot), when a big fish – maybe a carp – leapt out of the water at a bird. I believe we were talking about Ryan Howard at the time and wasn’t sure if it would be proper to bring up what I saw, but anyway, I saw a fish jump at a bird.

    No, I don’t get out much.

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