To be honest, my sports viewing diet is rather sparse. Frankly, I'm a grazer. I'll watch the Eagles throughout the year when it doesn't interfere with time with the kids and I'll tune in for the Flyers and Sixers as it pertains to work, but that's about it.
Remembering the day when I gave up on the NBA feels like it did at the last day of a summer job. You know, it's kind of bittersweet in a coming-of-age kind of way, but not a big enough moment to warrant a cake.
But that doesn't mean there aren't sports I won't go back to the buffet for. If it's baseball, a big track meet, basketball games from the late '70s and '80s, and hockey stories from Keith Jones, sign me up. I'm carving out a spot on the couch with the intent on feeling my ass grow.
Fun stuff.
But as far as I know, there is no marathon running channel (Marathon of Marathons?) for Comcast subscribers. If there was, maybe three people would watch and two of them would be hostages in my house. Occasionally on the NBA channel they show a "golden age" game with the Showtime Lakers, the Bird/McHale Celtics and the Sixers, but not too often.
Aside from the freeform offenses, who didn't love the '80s style? Short shorts and Charles Barkley? It's a wonder they don't run those old games in a loop.
And last I heard the Keith Jones variety show is not in the works. For shame.
Starting January 1, Major League Baseball started its own television network. Yes, just like the NFL and NBA, MLB waded deeper into the multimedia pool with its own channel. More notably, MLB is marketing the hell out of the channel with promises of baseball talk, old games, documentaries and Ken Burns.
More importantly, there was no mention of that Field of Dream/NPR baseball as a metaphor for life/abstract thinking at all. This is important because usually three seconds after that kind of catch-with-your-dad stuff starts, I go into the bushes and puke.
Yeah, I go for the seedy side of baseball - I like to work blue. Worse, like a big city marathon, I can watch baseball games all day. Frankly, it's a sickness, like the shingles.
Anyway, in order to get a better gauge of what's going on with the MLB Network and take some medicine before the cold snap envelops us while the cool kids get to go to Arizona to watch football, I embarked on an experiment and (maybe) a public service.
From 10 p.m. on Wednesday night to 10 a.m. on Thursday morning, I grabbed the remote, turned it to channel 280 and settled in to soak in what the new network had to offer. I figured 12 hours was enough to get a good sampling of the type of programming MLB was going to trot out there. Actually, 12 hours might be just enough time to get everything they have.
Here's what we saw:
Thursday, 10 p.m. Hot Stove
This is the main show for the MLB Network. And based on the rest of the programming lineup for the rest of the evening/morning, MLB has a lot of guys sitting on the bench. Ex-Phillies Mitch Williams and Dan Plesac are signed on to work for the channel, and Jimmy Rollins has appeared in a handful of segments in the studio, including a standout in which he paid tribute to Rickey Henderson's induction into the Hall of Fame:
We're not sure about the technical term, but there seems to be different "pods" in the studio - all with clever baseball themed names - earmarked to deliver different types of information. It appears to be a new trend in TV news to show movement or flexibility with the show. In actuality it makes me dizzy, but gives the rest of the talkers to get out of their seats as if they were the weather man in front of the blue screen.
Blue screens for everyone!
But no blue screen for the main gang at the desk. Make that a long wood desk. Maybe an oak desk, because Harold Reynolds[1], the star of the network, looks like an oak man. Fellow oak men and MLB All-Stars, Al Leiter and Barry Larkin also saddle up with Reynolds for a spirited discussion/debate about the news of the day with panel host, Vic Rojas, the son of ex-Phillie, Cookie Rojas.
This time they talked about the election of Jim Rice into the Hall of Fame, the candidacy of Andre Dawson as a Hall of Famer and the voting process. When BBWAA members Tom Verducci and Jon Heyman joined the panel they discussed how stats and sabermetrics are not effective ways to measure players of different eras, though, strangely, did not dive into the voting process.
Why confuse the people so late at night?
The banter was all well and good and somewhat interesting, though not anything people couldn't watch from any other yack-fest on TV. Just because a few big-league All-Stars offer opinions about the baseball news of the day doesn't make it more insightful.
But where it gets really good is when the trio shifts to the studio with a faux diamond to demonstrate the process and nuance of pitching or hitting. Better yet, Leiter and Larkin got really into a pitching demonstration in which the old lefty explained the thinking behind pitching to a hitter like Larkin just by how he set himself up in the box.
Even better, they all dressed in matching dark track suits that kind of made them look like a less-hip version of Devo.
After the demonstration they went into a whole thing from the update desks where they reported that there was an overflow media crowd in Baltimore for the introductory press conference of Koji Uehara.
Really? Koji Uehara? Did the Ravens' practice let out early? Was Anna Benson there? Word is she was quite popular when she pitched for the Orioles a few years ago.
That was Anna, right?
They didn't actually show footage from Baltimore so I changed the channel to catch the end of "Blazing Saddles." As a result, I don't recall if there is theme music to the "Hot Stove" show. If I were them I'd contact Donna Summer's people about the rights to "Hot Stuff." They can change the lyrics to "Hot Stove."
No?
Thursday 11 p.m. & 11:30 p.m. Prime 9
Not exactly a deep concept to this show. There are nine positions on the ball diamond and nine places in the batting order. There are usually nine monks involved in important Buddhist rituals, nine planets in the solar system and "Love Potion No. 9" was a big hit for The Clovers in 1955, though none of those things are relevant here.
Nevertheless, on this show they pick a theme and count down from nine to one. Yeah, kind of a poor-man's Casey Kasem.
On this episode they counted down the nine best "characters" of the game. Our boy Larry Andersen was No. 8. They showed footage of him with sunflower seeds all over his face... yeah. Sunflower seeds made him a character.
Now who doesn't like like Larry Andersen? Or sunflower seeds? Still, it was pretty weird to see L.A. with that crap sticking out of face in that gaudy Houston Astros uniform that was hardly flattering. Remember Charlie Kerfeld in that uni? Oh yes, he definitely melted butter whenever he showed up on a TV screen. Scorching.
But after watching L.A. and the seeds (good band name?) I had enough and switched to Charlie Rose.
Charlie Rose is an oak man, too.
Midnight Seasons
Now this one was good. What they do is pick a year and dive into the big occurrences of the baseball season with interviews, footage and all of that good stuff. Luckily, I caught the 1986 episode, which was of great interest since I consider myself a buff of the '86 postseason.
I also consider myself a buff of the U.S. Presidents, Watergate, punk rock, U.S. geography, and the literature of Paul Auster.
But the 1986 baseball season... man, that's almost as intricate and involved as a Shakespeare tragedy. Only real. All too real. There's Dave Henderson, the Mets, Bill Buckner, Donnie Moore, Roger Clemens with baby fat cheeks (before he met Brian McNamee) and the craziest playoffs ever.
And, of course, Game 6.
By now there aren't too many secrets about Game 6 and the bottom of the 10th of that day game at Shea Stadium, but it was interesting to see the video of Bob Costas in that tiny visitors' clubhouse with the champagne, Mrs. Yawkey, and protective plastic all set up. It was also pretty cool to see different angles of the Mets' celebration after the ball skidded through Buckner's legs.
Still, it kind of glossed over the deep cuts of that series, because to dive in any deeper would take Ken Burns and his entire team of documentarians.
Nevertheless, it wasn't a bad way to spend the early hours of a day.
Yet it seems as if MLB doesn't have enough programming yet. Instead of replaying old games, the network showed "Hot Stove" in a loop before restarting the entire cycle at 11 a.m.
Come on.
Previously they showed Don Larsen's perfect game in the 1956 World Series, which had never been rebroadcast before. They also showed some of the games from the 1989 ALCS between the Blue Jays and A's, which doesn't exactly scream, "CLASSIC!"
I don't know, maybe they can dive into the deep end and swim around with some different kind of shows. Perhaps these shows could be something to investigate:
"Drops: Inside a Rain Delay."
"Mustachio: From the Push Broom to the Handlebar - Great Mustaches of the MLB."
Tom Selleck could host this one with drop-ins with Bobby Grich, Ron Cey and, of course, Rollie Fingers.
"Bleep You! The Intricacies of the Umpire-Manager Dynamic."
Those are just a few of the top of my head. I can fill 24 hours for MLB easily.
[1] Interesting aside about Harold Reynolds... during the World Series workout in St. Petersburg, Harold and a few other MLBers were getting a hard time from security about not having his credential handy when walking into the stadium. A few of his cohorts were joking around doing that whole, "Don't you know who I am" schtick. So when we got onto the elevator I told the story about Frank Sinatra (or was it Milton Berle) who when asked for ID said, "You want ID? My face is my ID." So cocky, but so funny, too. Not sure if Harold Reynolds is to the level of notability of The Chairman (or Uncle Milty) yet. He's a handsome devil, though.