Former Senator George Mitchell will release his long-awaited report on his investigation into baseball's alleged performance-enhancing drugs problem. Senator Mitchell will make an announcement at 2:30 p.m. in press conference from New York City.
At 2:32 p.m. tumbleweed will blow across Mitchell's podium and one lone cricket will chirp. At 2:34 p.m. Major League Baseball will go back to business as usual.
By 2:40 p.m. all of the sports media and a few selected congressional-type bureaucrats will pontificate about something or other, and by 3 p.m. it will all be over.
However, at 4:30 p.m. at a seperate press conference, commissioner Bud Selig will announce that he is shocked -- shocked! -- at the Mitchell Report's findings.
Then he will fly back to Milwaukee and have a hot dog and a coke at Gilles Frozen Custard stand.
Do you think that maybe they can get Sam Elliott to narrate the thing just to liven it up a bit?