Jimmy McNulty, Connie Hawkins, blowhards and picking NFL winners

So the wild-card round of the NFL Playoffs came off without a hitch with no real surprises or upsets. Of course that could be open to interpretation considering, the Seattle Seahawks beat the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints and the New York Jets beat the AFC champion Indianapolis Mannings.

Notably, the only home team to win of the four games played last weekend was the Seahawks and they faced the fattest odds.

Maybe the Saints, oddsmakers and pundits were giving the Seahawks too much of a hard time? After all, the Seahawks hosted a playoff game after they won the NFC West. Certainly that’s nothing to sneeze at. Besides, with one more victory the Seahawks will be .500 this season. The worst-case scenario is that Seattle could finish the playoffs .500, too. Either way, that’s best than the 0-2 the Eagles have posted in the past two years.

Anyway, last week our picks checked in with a sister-kissing 2-2. We covered on the Packers and Ravens, but missed on the Saints and Mannings. The goal now is to beat the 7-3 record posted last season.

So let’s get into it.

Saturday games

Baltimore vs. Pittsburgh

Pick: Baltimore (plus-3)

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea which team will win this game. My gut tells me Pittsburgh is probably a bit overrated and Baltimore could be a smidge underrated. Of course sometimes my gut has bleep for brains, but, y’know…

Nevertheless, the point spread indicates that if this were a game played at a neutral site it would be a pick ‘em. That means in order to choose a winner in this one we have to go with unconventional analysis.

So what do we have? Not much. It’s unfair to look at a pop culture angle because The Wire is the greatest television program ever produced. Of course The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh is solid work featuring Doctor J, Meadowlark Lemon, Jonathan Winters and was Flip Wilson’s last film appearance. A bunch of NBA stars of the day joined Doc in the movie, including my favorites, “Super” John Williamson, Cedric “Cornbread” Maxwell, Kareem and, of course, Connie Hawkins.

Speaking of underrated, Connie Hawkins could be the most underrated player in the history of basketball. Straight out of Brooklyn and the early street ball culture, Hawkins was blacklisted by Iowa and the NBA in a New York City point-shaving scandal even though he had nothing to do with it. As a result, Hawkins spent most of the 1960s messing around with the Globetrotters and in the ABA before his lawsuit against the NBA was settled.

Though he was named to the all-time ABA first team and finished fourth in the voting for the all-time ABA MVP (Doc was first), most basketball fans never got to see Hawkins in his prime. That’s a shame because by all accounts, Hawkins’ style was the precursor to Doctor J, who, of course, gave way to Michael Jordan.

Connie Hawkins aside, we’re going to give Baltimore this one because of Jimmy McNulty and Lester Freamon.

Green Bay vs. Atlanta

Pick: Green Bay (plus-2)

What did we learn about the Packers after last Sunday’s victory over the Eagles at the Linc? Well, for one we learned that teams are so afraid of quarterback Aaron Rodgers and the Packers’ passing attack that some are willing to allow them to run at will.

We also learned that if the Packers are allowed to run at will, they, ahem, will. To beat the Eagles the Packers got 123 rushing yards from rookie James Starks on 23 carries. The interesting part about that is Starks rushed for 101 yards on 29 carries during the regular season. Mix that with Rodgers’ three TD passes in the red zone and defenses get confused quickly.

So chalk this one up as a game where the home team doesn’t match up all that well against the Packers. Could it be that the Packers were playing possum this season?

Sunday games

Seattle vs. Chicago

Pick: Seattle (plus-10)

Did you see that run by Marshawn Lynch last weekend? You know, the one where he broke approximately 37 tackles, disappeared from view, tossed aside a defender as if he were the biggest kid on the Pop Warner team and was just taught the stiff arm before zig-zagging 67 yards for the game-clinching TD.

It was insane…

And to think, Lynch started the season for Buffalo, a team that finished the season three-wins behind Seattle at 4-12.

However, the Bears allow just 90 yards a game on the ground while Seattle was next-to-last in the NFC with 89 yards per game rushing. In other words, don’t expect much scoring in this one. In fact, the team that scores a touchdown just might be the winner…

Because there won’t be two of them.

New York vs. New England

Pick: New England (minus-9)

Remember when the Eagles were getting ready to play the Patriots in the Super Bowl six years ago? Remember how Freddie Mitchell started mouthing off about the Patriots?

Remember how the Patriots reacted? Yeah, it didn’t end well for the biggest first-round draft pick in Philadelphia sports history.

Watching the Jets yap away about Tom Brady and the Patriots this week, led by coach Rex Ryan and cornerback Antonio Cromartie, it was easy to think about Mitchell. Moreover, just as it was back then, Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick just yawned and said, “Who?”

Now I like trash talk as much as the next guy and wouldn’t have a problem if football players gave pre- and post-game interviews as if they were Randy “Macho Man” Savage talking it over with “Mean” Gene Okerlund. Actually, it’s good for business when players and coaches tall some smack.

However, there is a proper way to do it and clearly Mitchell, Ryan and Cromartie don’t understand it.

Reggie Jackson knew how to do it and if I were to rank the all-time trash talkers, Reggie, Larry Bird and Michael Jordan would be the holy triumvirate. Interestingly, Reggie went on ESPN radio in New York City this week and offered some bleep-talking etiquette lessons to the Jets.

“Go look at the hardware, dude. Walk through the lobby up there and look at the stuff that's there,” Jackson said. "You don't have that, you don't have anything close to that. You might want to shut up, you might learn something. Read, you might figure something out. Watch film, you might get educated. If not, you have a chance to get embarrassed on Sunday. I hope you don't, because I like the Jets.”

Reggie knows that the best banter is the truth. He won the World Series five times with two teams and was called Mr. October for a reason. Cromartie dropping expletives on Brady because he celebrates after touchdowns and wins is kind of dumb.

“Don't [be] mad because I get excited because I did well. Or try to pretend like I'm acting some way because I dropped 40 on you in the first three quarters,” Jackson said on the Michael Kay radio show. “This guy threw 50 touchdown passes in one year. He won three Super Bowls. Was he embarrassing to people when he was excited because he won? You don't know what he's talking about because you've never won. So don't tell me how he thinks. You don't know. Acknowledge that. That's not my opinion, that's fact.”

Zing.

“This guy is an automatic Hall of Famer, making fun of him is like making fun of Mariano Rivera,” Jackson said. “What are you doing? What are you doing?”

The Patriots are beatable. Even when they went 16-0 in the regular season they showed they could be beaten. But there is an old saying I heard from Sparky Anderson a long time ago about, “letting sleeping dogs lie.” No sense waking them up just to get bit.

That’s just dumb.

The best part about Mitchell thing was when the Super Bowl media day arrived and the mouthy receiver was disappointed to learn the NFL didn’t set up a dais for him amongst the team’s stars. Apparently that was the day Mitchell was supposed to learn that action speaks louder than words.

Breaking the law, lake trout, wintertime and picking the NFL winners

Generally, breaking the law is a bad idea and it’s something the folks behind this little site do not endorse. Still, we understand that sometimes circumstances tilt toward a little bending and flexing of certain statutes. For instance, we think it’s OK to steal bread in order to feed a starving family. That’s basic because if a criminal is allowed to have a lawyer for free, then we ought to look out for each other.

Or something.

You may be asking about the slippery slope this theory creates, and yes, I understand the moral dilemma. Sociologists haven’t weighed in, but I’m sure they look at bread stealing as a gateway to bigger things. Like, as soon as a person gets enough to eat to shake off the hunger pangs, it’s only a matter of time before the upstairs doors are closed and he is making bathtub moonshine.

Yes, it’s an all-too familiar tale. Of course some may see it as one of those “victimless crimes,” which sounds like an oxymoron, like “jumbo shrimp.” But if that’s the case, didn’t you feel safer walking the streets at night knowing Martha Stewart was locked up behind bars for insider trading? Hey, Martha is no Bernie Madoff, Goldman & Sachs, or some other immoral Wall St. knob, but you know how we voiceless middle Americans feel about comeuppance… we love it!

Anyway, people love betting on football games a lot. They even make up variations of normal gambling like that whole fantasy football bit. Ever play that? Man, people get nuts over it. Sometimes they even act like they really are a football coach and/or general manager when they talk about their fantasy football team(s). Hell, they even utilize lean muscle mass and brain power and express their feelings into words on web sites and books about how to be a really good fantasy football guy.

Yeah, it sounds crazy doesn’t it?

However, unless you are playing for jelly beans or pink slips, gambling is illegal in most municipalities in the United States, sir. In other places in our country it’s frowned upon or tolerated only in plush, environmentally-controlled palaces with mismatched wall-to-wall carpet and medieval and/or nautical themes.  

Still, like a hungry person swiping a loaf of bread, it’s probably a crime not to wager a little something on the playoff football games that are slated for this weekend. Look, I’m not telling you to do it because of how they view those sorts of things in society, but if I had a little extra money/gold/pelts/heirlooms just burning a hole in my pocket, I would wager it thusly on this weekend’s slate of NFL Playoffs games:

Saturday games

Saints at Seahawks

Pick: Saints (minus-10)

Gotta give Seahawks’ coach Pete Carroll some credit… not only did he figure out a way to get a team with a losing record a home game in the NFL playoffs, but also he’s done it with players getting paid far less than the guys he had at USC. Nevertheless, unless Carroll figures out a way to get hometown hero Tim Lincecum into the game instead of having him serve as the cheerleader/12^th man, this one could be a blood bath.

Jets at Colts

Pick: Colts (minus-2½ )

The line in this one indicates that the Jets are a little better than the Colts. However, the Colts have won four games in a row, beat the Jets in the AFC Championship last year, and ever since they snuck out of Baltimore in the middle of the night like some gypsy thieves, the Colts have dominated the Jets. As the Indianapolis Colts, they are 27-14 against the Jets and going back to Super Bowl III, the Colts are 42-26 against the Jets.

The craziest one? In 1991 when the Colts went 1-15 their lone win came against the Jets.

Of course none of that matters now. I just felt like counting up all the times the Jets and Colts played. I also wanted to figure out a way to mention Johnny Unitas, but that’s not really going to work. Besides, the Jets won’t have Joe Namath on Saturday. They’ll just have Rex Ryan who as the coach of the Jets, already has two more victories in the playoffs than his dad, Buddy.

Nope, I didn’t understand any of this either.

Sunday games

Ravens at Chiefs

Pick: Ravens (minus-3)

Ah Baltimore, the city that should have a bigger inferiority complex than Philadelphia. Stuck so close to Washington (yet so far away), Baltimore often serves as a slight vista up I-95 to New York or Boston or wherever folks from D.C. like to go.

But Baltimoreans feel pretty good about their spot in American culture. The football team is pretty good, the waterfront still draws tourists like flies, John Waters is around, and the greatest TV show ever produced, The Wire, was shot and set in town.

The people of Baltimore also appear to have gotten past the idea that the football team wears purple and is called the Ravens instead of blue and white and the Colts.

For the old-timers, the football team in Baltimore is called the Colts. You know, Johnny Unitas, Art Donovan, Don Shula, Lenny Moore, Bert Jones, Gino Marchetti, Earl Morrall and Raymond Berry. The name and colors should have remained locked up in Memorial Stadium when that gypsy Bob Irsay packed up that Mayflower truck and snuck out of town in the middle of the night. That’s what should have happened.

Instead, Johnny Unitas’ flat-top grew out, his black high-tops were retired and Baltimore had to wait for Art Modell to sneak the Browns out of Cleveland before they got another team.

Baltimoreans, of course, are a hearty lot. They know all about being past by on the interstate as thrill seekers go off looking for someplace a little less hardcore. Sure, they do crabs and beer as well in Baltimore as any place on the planet, but they also eat something called lake trout, which doesn’t come from a lake and sure as hell ain’t trout. In fact, lake trout, which is served breaded and deep fried, is a fish that a person doesn’t even have to go fishing for. Know the phrase “shooting fish in a barrel?” Well, with lake trout you don’t have to pull the trigger. Just bend down and yank them out of the gravelly sand in the shallow water. Don’t worry, they’ll be there waiting.

Kind of like the cows that produce all the steaks they like to eat in Kansas City. For the Chiefs players, they better not fill up so close to game time. They are going to need to be light on their feet with the Ravens’ fleet defenders bearing down on them for 60 minutes. Stick with rice or pasta.

Packers at Eagles

Pick: Packers (plus-2½)

They get after it in Wisconsin. Really, they get after it. According to some silly poll taken by some magazine that probably won’t exist in a year or two, Milwaukee, the closest “big” city near Green Bay, is the drunkest town in the U.S. Meanwhile, Philadelphia checked in at No. 20.

What does this mean? Well, for one thing there probably isn’t a lot to do during the winter time in Wisconsin because it’s so damn cold. It’s so cold, in fact, that people rarely go outside after the first week of October and there are indoor walkways that connect all of the buildings so folks won’t have to go outdoors and get frost bite. They also build shacks on top of the frozen lakes and go fishing.

Fishing and drinking, apparently.

Nevertheless, since the towns look like habitatrails and the people have decided to stay inside, there better be something to watch on TV and it better be good. Imagine how much drinking would go on in Wisconsin if the Packers were bad. In fact, if the Packers lose this weekend and the football season were to end more than two months before the first day of spring, martial law is declared in Green Bay, Milwaukee and Kenosha. Keep people out of the snow drifts.

Although the Eagles should have a plan for second-year linebacker extraordinaire Clay Matthews, it’s unknown whether the defense can contain quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Plus, with the temperature expected to be a balmy 32 degrees on Sunday, the Packers might play in shorts.

Hey, it doesn’t hit the 30s until May in Wisconsin. The warm weather is sure to have the Packers feeling loose and ready to move.

Last year’s playoff picks record: 7-3

Picking winners

Gambling is all the rage these days. Better yet, gambling on professional and amateur sports is even more popular. Just look at what they're doing in Delaware to see how much people and legislative bodies love it.

While we're at it, can the Commonwealth get some table games?

But it doesn't even matter if the state of Delaware joins Nevada to make gambling on sports as legal as raw milk. The truth is people love gambling so much that they will do it illegally even when there are legal options available.

Imagine that... people will willingly break the law even when they don't have to. It's like running through a red light while staring at the little camera thingy they put up there to stop that kind of thing.

Generally speaking, breaking the law is a bad idea. However, gambling on sports seems to be one of those "victimless crime" things. I'm not sure if that is one of those oxymorons, like "jumbo shrimp," but maybe jailing gamblers is a lot like locking up Martha Stewart for insider trading. Does it really make us safer to have Martha off the streets? Really?

Anyway, people love betting on football games a lot. They even make up variations of normal gambling like that whole fantasy football bit. Ever play that? Man, people get nuts over it. Sometimes they even act like they really are a football coach and/or general manager when they talk about their fantasy football team(s). Hell, they even utilize lean muscle mass and brain power and express their feelings into words on web sites and books about how to be a really good fantasy football guy.

Yeah, I know!

So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you're looking for some help on betting on those football games this weekend, here's what I'd do if I were one of those dudes who actually does that sort of thing.

Ha! Isn't that a ringing endorsement? I won't bet my own money/gold/pelts/heirlooms on my advice, but dammit, you should.

Saturday games:
New York Jets vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Pick: Cincinnati (minus-2½)

The Jets haven’t been to the playoffs in a really long time and both teams have quarterbacks from USC. The Jets’ QB, Mark Sanchez, is a rookie. That’s why Carson Palmer and the Bengals are the pick.

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys
Pick: Dallas (minus-3½)

Certainly we’ve waxed on like crazy over this matchup all week, and the bottom line is it just doesn’t seem as if the Eagles have an answer for the Cowboys’ defense. Plus, this is a game that will take some crafty coaching acumen from Andy Reid—who believes he can come through?

Sunday games:
Baltimore Ravens vs. New England Patriots
Pick: Baltimore (plus-3½)

Losing Wes Welker is a big deal for the Patriots. Plus, there has to be at least one upset... right?

Green Bay Packers vs. Arizona Cardinals
Pick: Arizona (pick ‘em)

The line indicates that the Packers should win, but I flipped a coin and it landed on Larry Fitzgerald.

Besides that, I don’t really know what I’m talking about.

Happy wagering!

For amusement purposes only

We usually don't pick games here because that was so last year. Plus, offering point-spread picks of professional sports is de facto gambling and even though we aren't gambling nor are we encouraging others to gambling, it's kind of like watching a person being assaulted without stepping in to stop it. No, we didn't dive in and rain haymakers down on some poor fella, but we didn't do anything to stop it. In other words, adjacent to refuse is still refuse. I was part of the problem and that's why I stopped the pretend gambling.

Besides, professional leagues and teams have rules forbidding gambling and claim they will revoke press credentials from those who knowingly engage in professional gambling. The leagues and teams also say they will penalize players and team employees who associate with known gamblers, too. They don't do it, but it's a rule nonetheless.

So just to be on the safe side, I'm going to begin my prognostication with a disclaimer... Don't gamble and don't use the wisdom herein for gambling. Though I am not morally opposed to gambling and even enjoy partaking from time to time, I must admit that I am a supercilious snob. For my brand of snobbery, the caricature version of the gambler with his gaudy clothes and jewelry - one which gives off the image of not only questionable character, but also of one who lives his life with a personal philosophy based on Exodus 21:23 - 27 - well, that's not the kind of person one would want to invite over for hot wassail.

Really... who can take those people seriously? And who are those folks fooling with their flashiness and hair coiffed oh so delicately with blonde highlights that is about as subtle on a man beyond middle age as a kick in the crotch?

They aren't fooling me. A person is known by the company they keep, is what I always say.

That said (or written) lets dive into the big football games that will be held this weekend at various times suitable to nestle gently into the nation television schedule.

New York Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys I suppose this is the biggest game of the weekend. I suppose that's the case because it features a team from the country's largest media market and another team that supersedes such triviality as media markets. "America's Team" is what the Cowboys and their fans refer to themselves without irony. Any group that can make such a proclamation and not stifle a laugh midway through is one to keep at a distance or trapped in a reinforced box as if they were a wolverine on greenies.

The New York-Dallas matchup is also an interesting one for folks from Philadelphia, too. One reason is that both clubs come from the NFC East, just like the Philadelphia Eagles. Additionally, the Eagles fans claim Dallas as their biggest rival even though it should be the team from New York. In fact, the Eagles' hatred of Cowboys is a lot like a song by the J. Geils Band set on its head. Fans of the Eagles have manufactured a bitter rivalry with Dallas that goes unrequited because the Cowboys' biggest rival is the Washington Redskins. This makes perfect sense, because if historical precedent as our guide, Cowboys and Redskins should despise one another. Moreover, everyone should hate Giants, Raiders, Titans, Buccaneers and, of course, Texans.

Since we're doing some good ol' hatin' let's add racism in there, too. If a Giant is a good thing to hate, I suppose racism is a good thing to hate, too.

It would be one thing if the game was simply a matchup between the teams from New York and Dallas and that was it. Instead, there are subplots. No, it's nothing too interesting or odd like the little subplot involving Mike Yanagita in the film, Fargo. Instead, it's more like a dumb reality-show subplot like, "Puck put his finger in the peanut butter so let's kick him out of the house and cry." In this instance it's equally as lame...

Ohmigod Tony Romo went to Mexico during his week off with Jessica Simpson and some teammates and her dad! My world and my wife's world are colliding!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

OK, I can understand why this is a big deal to sports fans. Actually, there are a lot of reasons why the quarterback of a football team gallivanting at a resort in a foreign country is such a big deal. For one thing to the average, factory-assembled fan, sports and women do not mix. Oh sure, they can hang around as long as they are dressed in a bathing suit and serve dead animal carcasses and other fatty food to the rest of the gang, but if they sit in the room with the other guys and watch the game and - gasp! - ask questions... oh no! Like hunting or being an elite-level chef, sports is a man's domain. Better yet, most men only want to watch sports with other men. And yes, the notion that a bunch guys that only want to hang around with a bunch of other guys and share their turbo-charged feelings is... well... gay[1], is completely lost.

Perhaps that's because sports fandom, by nature, is a conformist activity. All sports fans speak the same language because they engage in all of the same media. Sports seem to be the only subset of the news or popular culture in which there is no alternative media or ideology. Yeah, there are different Internet sites and all of that, but though the style might deviate slightly, the tune is always the same.

Think about what it's like to go to a game... everyone waits in line, dresses alike, eats and drinks the same things and recites the same slogans.

"LET'S GO HOME TEAM, clap, clap, clapclapclap!"

So yeah, with everyone receiving their marching orders from the same sources it's easy to see why a guy going on a trip with an actress during his week off is a bad thing.

The Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson thing was such a big deal that the football stuff kind of got lost in the shuffle. For instance, Terrell Owens, the ex-Eagle, is attempting to play despite a diva-like injury. I'm not saying Terrell Owens is faking the injury for a little extra dramatic flair, but let's just say he's probably not pleased that it's another teammate involved in some sort of controversy instead of him. To make it worse, the controversy involves the quarterback and a model. All T.O. ever had was Drew Rosenhaus.

Oh yeah, there is Giants' quarterback Eli Manning, too. Manning, of course, is the underachieving little brother of MVP Peyton Manning and youngest son of ex-NFL quarterback Archie Manning. He also reminds me of the little brother who cried his way into the pick-up basketball game with his older brother's friends and followed that up by making a whole bunch of jump shots in a row. But just when little Eli pressed his luck and drove to the hoop, one of Peyton's classmates sent the kid flailing into the shrubbery bordering the driveway with a slight forearm shiver. Crying again with his bottom lip quivering while prone in a chalk-outline position half in the bush and the driveway, little Eli shouted, "C'mon dude, I'm only seven!"

For the Giants to have any chance of winning, little Eli is going to have to stay out of the lane and bury those shots from the outside.

Take the Cowboys.

While you're at it, take the Packers, Colts and Patriots, too.

What, do you want point spreads and statistics? Are you a degenerate?

---

[1] The word "gay" is being used in the fifth-grade sense of the word and is in no way being used as a term of derision or as a slur of any type. But then again if you couldn't figure that out after reading the rest of the crap in this essay, you're... um... dumb. Or possibly a supercilious snob.

Best bets

Last week: 1-1

Year-to-date: 28-25-2

I've watched every Super Bowl since the one where the Steelers beat the Cowboys, 35-31. That was 1979 – or XXVIII Super Bowls ago – and what I remember the most from that game was Terry Bradshaw played well, and John Stallworth and Franco Harris had long touchdown plays.

Other than that the most important thing about that first Super Bowl was the hors d'oeuvres served at the party at our neighbors' house in Washington. If I recall correctly they were from western Pennsylvania somewhere.

Since then, my favorite Super Bowl memories are, in chronological order: John Riggins running it down the Dolphins' throats in Super Bowl XVII, which was followed by the debut of The A-Team; all those touchdowns by all the Bears except for Walter Payton in Super Bowl XX; hanging out with my McCaskey basketball teammates for Super Bowl XXI; Doug Williams' big day playing hoops in the May's driveway in Super Bowl XXII; Montana to Taylor, the Bud Bowl and hanging out at Ben Miller's house with the gang for Super Bowl XXIII; watching Scott Norwood miss wide right on Howie Bryant's tiny, crappy TV during Super Bowl XXV; making my chili for Andy Cross's parties for Super Bowls XXIX and XXX; sitting in the control room at WGAL to watch Super Bowls XXXII and XXXIII; the big snowstorm, lots of shoveling, the impromptu halftime show and the great finish for Super Bowl XXXIV; betting on the outcome of every single play of Super Bowls XXXV and XXXVI at Roger Place's house; sitting in the newsroom at Comcast SportsNet for Super Bowl XXXIX; my son devouring the veggie dip at my sister's house for Super Bowl XL.

Needless to say, the Super Bowl experience has very little to do with football for most folks. It is, in a sense, a holiday, which is why I enjoy those now-cliché and requisite stories on the local news (wait… cliché and local news?) where some people choose to "boycott" the game by hanging out at a coffee shop, the Barnes & Noble or the local college lecture hall, or something like that. I definitely understand what they're protesting (no, it's not football per se), and agree with them that American culture needs a swift kick in the rear. However, hanging out at a corporate bookstore or Starbucks instead of with friends and family isn't exactly a political statement.

Sometimes there is a pretty good game. Such as (in order):

* XXXIV St. Louis 23, Tennessee 16

* XXIII San Francisco 20, Cincinnati 16

* XXV New York 20, Buffalo 19

* XXXVIII New England 32, Carolina 29

* XXXII Denver 31, Green Bay 24

So, will Super Bowl XLI be any good? Probably more like Super Bowl XXXVII when Tampa Bay beat up on the Raiders than any of the games listed above. In the ever so brief conversations with people who actually know something about football, I've heard the Bears "have a good defense," they "aren't very good," and they know "how to tackle," but no one says they can win the game.

That's why the Colts minus 7 is the way to go. Actually, if the line was 14 I'd still go with the Colts.

Peyton Manning will get his ring, as they say, but for most folks this will be one to forget… let's just hope the food is decent.

Best bets

Last week: 2-2

Year-to-date: 27-24-2

It just could be the Magic vs. Bird of this era. Manning vs. Brady. Brady vs. Manning. Talent vs. Grit. The Prodigy vs. Someone Who’s Dad Wasn’t an NFL QB.

The comparisons between Tom Brady and his Super Bowl victories and Peyton Manning and his great regular-season records have even garnered a Wikipedia entry that reads:

Amongst active quarterbacks, Manning is most often compared to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Brady's statistics, while impressive in their own right, do not meet the record-setting level that Manning has established. Brady, however, has won 3 Super Bowls while posting a career 12-1 postseason record, best in NFL history. On the other hand, as Manning's supporters often note, Brady has been supported by great defenses in his Super Bowl runs, whereas Manning's offense is counted on to shoulder most of the load for the Colts. Manning has, however, had the luxury of superstar wide receivers Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne, and RB Edgerrrin James for much of his career while Brady is considered to be the only offensive star for the Patriots. The Manning-Brady debate has evoked comparisons to the Marino-Montana debate of the 1980's.

But the on-the-field comparisons are only half of it. Manning and Brady seem as different as night and day. Example? Try this – Manning, even though he is from New Orleans where he attended the same high school as Harry Connick Jr., likes country music. Actually, it’s not even the good country music. It’s the conformist, watered-down-for-mass-production, derivative country music perpetrated by the likes of Kenny Chesney… whoever that is.

Sorry, folks. I hate racism, injustice, poverty, genocide and commercial country music. I can’t help it. What makes it worse is that Manning, from a city with a distinctive and unique music history, allowed himself to photographed with that Kenny Chesney dude.

Whoever that is.

Professor Longhair is from New Orleans, for God’s sake.

But let’s give Manning some credit for one thing – he has a personality. He performs in all of those wacky commercials for some type of product (cell phones? Wireless networks?) that I don’t recognize because I feel that if someone feels the need to make a commercial to tell me how great they are, they have some issues that simple therapy won’t remedy. Plus, they probably don’t have my interests at heart. People, by design, are selfish… and Bleep Commerce!

Diatribe aside, I have no idea what type of music Tom Brady likes. In fact, I have no idea about anything regarding Tom Brady. No one does. Get this – The Smoking Gun searched to find which political party Brady belongs to -- because, as everyone knows, political parties explain everything about a person – only to learn learn that he doesn’t belong to anything.

Is this just pure indifference or because Brady doesn’t want to offend anyone? Maybe it’s kind of like when Michael Jordan didn’t want to endorse Harvey Gantt over Jesse Helms because “Republicans buy sneakers, too.” Smart. Safe. Just like Brady’s game.

But not particularly inspiring – it’s not exactly “I ain't got no quarrel with those Vietcong.”

Put it this way – if there is nothing else on television except for two football games on opposite channels featuring Manning in one game and Brady in the other, which one will you watch?

Right. The one with Manning.

There is one thing we know about Tom Brady besides the fact that he has those Super Bowl victories, went to the same high school as Jim Fregosi, Barry Bonds, Lynn Swann and Gregg Jefferies and played against Bellarmine Prep’s Pat Burrell... Brady also apparently has a thing for Brazilian models.

But then again don’t we all?

Take Manning’s Colts minus 3 over Brady’s Patriots.

Super Saints?
The Internet is a neat thing. Where else would get to see this guy:

The Internet is also a place where that guy was derided and made fun of for being a whack job, which is fair. It’s probably even correct. But let me ask you this… when is the last time an Eagles fan roamed around the parking lot giving the heebee-jeebee to the visiting fans? When the last time an Eagles fan did something other than the tired old fat, drunk and stupid routine?

Perhaps being a unique, whack job with a cape doesn’t work here? Nevertheless, give the guy credit for so baffling the visiting fans from Philly that they couldn’t even beat the guy back with a boo, a drunken right uppercut, or a D battery tossed between the kook’s eyes.

Rumor has it that the guy might show up in Chicago. If that’s the case, take the Saints and the 2½ points over the Bears.

Best bets

There are so many interesting sporting topics – David Beckham, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Floyd Landis, the stellar field that is being assembled for the ’07 London Marathon. So why don’t we skip all of that for the time being and get into the really important stuff – like what to eat during the Eagles game.

Let’s try a football and wintertime staple like chili even though the game starts at 8 p.m. and most people won’t want to get too filled up… right? But, the good part about this recipe is that it’s lean and mean. Because I choose not to eat meat and do my best to stay away from animal-products (there’s a name for those people and freak and weirdo are not it, though in my case it’s debatable) I altered the recipe so that if one chooses to eat dead animal carcasses, they may substitute it in.

Here it is:

1 package of veggie ground beef – I like to use Morning Star Farms crumbles, though any similar product will do

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

1 onion, chopped

1/2 teaspoon mustard seeds

1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped

1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped

2 cans chopped tomatoes (any style will do, though I use chili-specific tomatoes)

2 cans of beans – black, red, kidney or pinto will do

1 cup sliced mushrooms

2 carrots, peeled and chopped

2 jalapeño chiles, seeded and minced (optional)

4 ounces tomato paste

2 tablespoons chili powder

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1/4 teaspoon unsweetened baking cocoa

1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamonIn a heavy, large pot, heat oil over medium-high heat. Cook veggie beef, onion and red and green bell peppers until soft and golden. Add mustard seeds, stirring often.

When the vegetables are ready, add tomatoes (undrained), beans, mushrooms, carrots, jalapeño, tomato paste, chili powder, cumin, cocoa and cinnamon into the mix and stir well.

Finally, reduce the heat and let the chili simmer, uncovered, for about 40 minutes. Stir it when needed.

After that, you are on your own.

As far as the game goes, take the Saints minus the 5½ points. Maybe it’s just the chili talking, but I have a bad feeling about this one.

In the other games, take the Colts and the 4 in Baltimore. Wait… don’t the Colts play in Baltimore. The Baltimore Ravens? What kind of USFL/NFL Europe uniforms are they wearing?

In Sunday’s games, take the Seahawks and the 9½ in Chicago and the Chargers giving up 5 against the Patriots.

Last week: 2-2 Year-to-date: 25-22-2

Is it really that bad?

Plus, Best Bets

Despite what gets written on this site from time to time, I actually like to watch football. That is to say I can find some enjoyment in sitting around to watch a game on a Sunday afternoon when another family or outdoor activity would be more suitable. Hey, I’m not exactly one of those faux-macho dudes who likes to wear a shirt with another man’s name stenciled on the back; binge on high-cholesterol, high-carbohydrate or high-alcohol content perishables; scream and yell while slapping another man’s hand; or paint my face. I leave that to the professionals.

But from time to time I like to watch the Eagles and have, on occasion, made specific plans to watch a game or two when not working. I just don’t get caught up in the outcome of specific games because – as any seasoned writer would reply – I root for the story.

Stories, of course, are what define us as a species and what makes the world go around. We’re only as good as our content… Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Anyway, like anyone who has spent any bit of their life in Philadelphia I’m looking forward to the Eagles’ big playoff showdown against the Giants this Sunday. And why not? The two previous meetings between the two clubs were the most entertaining games I saw all season. The first one, way back on a sunny September afternoon at the Linc, was riveting television. Sure, the Giants ended up winning in overtime after the Eagles blew a big lead, but looking at it from a pure entertainment view – which is what sports really is anyway – the game was very enjoyable.

In that regard, I’d say football, more than baseball, is America’s true pastime. Baseball, with its long season covering 26 weeks with a game scheduled for nearly every night from April to October, is more like therapy. If you need a game, it’s there. No questions asked. Take what you need.

Football, conversely, is an event scheduled once per week and building to a frothy, face-painting and trash-talking crescendo. People – even those like me – look forward to games. In baseball they get ready for them.

Before this digresses to a less-than-pithy George Carlin routine, it’s interesting to note that we might not be as entertained or passing our time as well as we could. Oh no, it has nothing to do with us – we’re eating and drinking the correct way and wearing the proper shirts with the correct names and numbers stenciled on the back. Instead, it’s them. The players. Apparently, they aren’t as good or at least they aren’t playing as well as they should.

At least that’s what the splendid writer Adam Gopnik of The New Yorker writes in the latest issue of the magazine. According to Gopnik’s, “The Unbeautiful Game: What's happening to football?” fans are really missing the game if they aren’t watching it from a seat in the stadium, the players aren’t entertaining nor are the fans entertained as they were in the proverbial old days. Instead of Broadway Joe, Johnny U and the unpredictability of the game and the players, we get Donovan McNabb faux silliness and his failure to engage in interview sessions. Or straight-as-an-arrow Tom Brady and his ability to remained so polished and poised on the field and off.

The players are too canned, too together and too media weary and conscious. Times have changed, perhaps.

OK. I know. What the hell does The New Yorker know about football. Don’t they serialize fiction and print poetry?

Yes. Yes they do.

But tell me what I’m supposed to glean from ESPN’s magazine or any of the linked media cacophony they bonk viewers and readers with? Gopnik and his magazine just might have a view and perspective that the entrenched sports media won’t see, touch or bother to think about, and that’s why it’s interesting.

Interesting is one thing, but correct is another. Certainly Gopnik made some interesting and salient points in the magazine’s trademarked sprawling opus, and it’s probably fair to write that the football in 2006-07 isn’t as good as it once was when the league was smaller. But name something that wasn’t good when it was more intimate (so to speak) or discovered? It’s just like that scene in Stripes when Bill Murray’s girlfriend breaks up with him because he likes to sit around and listen to Tito Puente records all day.

Murray, as John Winger, says: “Y'know, one day, Tito Puente will be dead, and you'll say, ‘Oh, I've been listening to him for years, and I think he's fabulous.’”

So for those of you who have been sitting around and listening to those sassy sounds from Tito way back when, is the NFL less entertaining? Do you feel cheated when you flip on the tube or head to the ballpark on Sunday afternoon? Does the supposed dearth of quality play ruin your enjoyment?

Or are you just happy that there are many more people who like to listen to Tito Puente, too?

Anyway, take the Eagles giving the 6½ points to the Giants on Sunday. Normally, I’d be a wet blanket in this situation and go with the underdog, but I changed my mind by the time I get to the end of this essay. Get ready for a trip to New Orleans.

Also, take the Colts giving up 7 to the Chiefs, the Seahawks in a pick ‘em over the Cowboys and the Jets covering the 9 points against the Patriots.

Year-to-date: 23-20-2

Best bets

Last week: 2-2
Year-to-date: 22-20-2

Yeah, I know that the NFL playoff race will come into clearer focus after this weekend's games, but I really don't care. There is only one game that matters, the rest of the slate is nothing more than a filling bunch of Hors d’oeuvres that look nice but really have no nutritional value. Kind of like a little piece of melon wrapped in bacon.

And though everyone loves bacon (and melon), it's better to focus on the main course. It is the holiday season, after all, and it's common for folks to put on a few unwanted pounds from talking themselves into having that bowl of sugary treats at a party.

"Well, it is dark chocolate. That's supposed to be good for you like red wine... right?"

Sure, whatever works.

Anyway, to keep slim and trim as the new year approaches, let's get to the feast:

Eagles plus 7 over Cowboys
Seven points? It's like stealing candy from a baby... and I know you have stolen candy from a baby. Shame on you!

Best bets

Last week: 3-1
Year-to-date: 20-18-2

This is a big weekend for the NFL. Not only are playoff berths on the line and the balance of power in every division and conference teetering on a thin, fickle line, but also all around the country regular folks like you and me are involved in their fantasy football playoffs.

Here’s an admission – I was never a regular viewer of the NFL until fantasy football came around. In fact, I’m not even a regular watcher now. I follow the stats as they pertain to my fantasy football team, which I’m sure bothers people. The hand wringing and drawback in this, according to some football fans, is that people end up rooting for certain players against their favorite team.

So?

Perhaps I have the luxury of not having a favorite team. Oh sure, I suppose I follow the Eagles closer than the other teams, and I definitely rooted for them when we moved back to Pennsylvania in 1981, but I also liked the Washington Redskins when they had John Riggins and Joe Washington with his single bar helmet. I also liked Mark Moseley’s straight on, toe kicks, though they weren’t as cool as Tony Franklin’s barefoot boots.

The same thing went for baseball, too. When we lived in the D.C. area, we followed the Orioles very closely and rooted for them to win the 1979 World Series. In fact, I was at Memorial Stadium for the final game of the 1982 season in which Robin Yount slugged two homers off Jim Palmer to send the Brewers into the playoffs. Don Sutton pitched for the Brewers that day, and Ben Ogilivie made a tough, sliding catch near us in the left-field corner to ruin an Orioles’ rally and shove the momentum the Brewers’ way.

In 1983, though, we lived in Lancaster and followed the Phillies closely on TV, but when it came time to actually go to a game we opted for Baltimore over the Vet.

Can anyone blame us?

Unfortunately, after ’83 the Phillies and the Orioles started to decline in the standings, which meant I began to follow individual players even more. Wade Boggs, Don Mattingly, Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens were big names through the ‘80s.

As a side note, I really liked Larry Bowa and Eddie Murray when I was a kid and was excited to talk to my childhood favorites when I started writing about baseball... and then I met them.

In the 1990s I went to college and don’t recall following any athletes very close at all. Well, I watched every game of the 1993 baseball season, but who didn’t?

Anyway, here’s which teams are going to win this weekend:

Falcons plus 3 ½ over the Cowboys
I have the Falcons defense in my fantasy league playoffs. Does it matter that I can’t name a single player on the Falcons other than the quarterback who can’t throw?

Colts minus 3½ over the Bengals
Hey! This could be a good game.

Eagles plus 6 over the Giants
Initially I thought the Giants would win. But the only reports I’ve seen (or paid attention to) from New York have the Giants talking and bickering too much. Good teams don’t do that.

Panthers PICK Steelers
Take the Panthers. Why not?

Best bets

Year-to-date: 15-15-2

The task now is to get over .500. Once that happens, anything is possible.

Right?

Colts plus 1 over Jaguars

Giants plus 3 over Panthers

Eagles plus 1 ½ over Redskins

Saints plus 7 over Cowboys

Best bets

Last week: 3-3-1
Year-to-date: 15-15-2

Remember back in the early 1980s when NBC decided to televise an NFL game without the aid of the broadcasters? If I recall correctly it was the Dolphins against some other AFC team at the Orange Bowl and the experiment was roundly criticized as a failure by people who are experts at pointing out failures.

Truth be told, though, I loved it, but admit it would have been much better if the technology to have the score and time remaining in the corner of the screen were available. That’s called a “bug” in the business.

Anyway, I liked the austerity of that broadcast and think that something similar can work these days. Sometimes it seems as if the games are too overhyped and overproduced, but what do I know. I just liked watching games from the Orange Bowl because they kept a real, live dolphin in a pool beyond the end zone. Every once in a while when the camera would pan just right, you could catch a dorsal fin just below the cross bar.

Could you imagine a team keeping a dolphin on the field these days? Dolphin, jaguar, eagle, giant or titan or not, I doubt it would detract from the cheerleaders on the sidelines wearing outfits the size of dental floss.

Anyway, in tribute to the innovative stunt pulled off by NBC, I will offer this week’s football picks without the boys in the booth. Besides, why do I have to justify my choices?

Bengals minus 3 over Browns

Jaguars minus 3 over Bills

Giants minus 3 over Titans

Colts minus 9 over Eagles

Best bets

Last week: 0-4
Year-to-date: 12-12-1

Let’s put the political hack spin on last week’s Best Bets… it is harder to go 0-4 than 4-0 or even 1-3. Anyone can pick a winner. That’s easy. After all, one consciously examines the ledger and picks the specific game that appeals to them. Obviously, based on that, it can’t be too difficult to pick one winner.

Now going 0-4 when trying to pick all winners – that takes talent. Does anyone think the professional handicappers ever go 0-4?

Me either.

Anyway, take this week’s picks to the bank. They’re all going to be winners.

Ready?

Ohio State plus 7 over Michigan
Let’s start by saying that Michigan is going to win the game. The reason I think Michigan is going to win the game is that everyone I know who went to Michigan is a really good guy. Martin Frank from the Wilmington News Journal? There is a class act. Andy Cross from over on River Dr.? One of the all-time greats. Andy’s brother Gordie? He’s going to Secretary of Defense some day.

Chris Webber? Well, I don’t know him personally and he once plead guilty for perjury, but the other guys I listed more than make up for that indiscretion.

However, the Buckeyes will cover.

Notre Dame minus 32 over Army
So does Notre Dame have the Merchant Marine Academy on the schedule, too. Way to extend yourselves, guys… Fightin’ Irish my ass.

If Army wins this one outright I’ll go down to the recruiting office and enlist.

(crossing fingers)

Navy minus 32½ over Temple
Why can’t the Owls schedule the Merchant Marine Academy?

Indianapolis minus 1½ over Dallas
I have a feeling this one could be a bloodbath in favor of the Colts. I’m not basing this on any football knowledge or anything, but I’m expecting a reptilian effort from Terrell Owens. By reptilian I mean alligator arms followed by crocodile tears.

New England minus 6 over Green Bay
Nothing to add here.

Seattle minus 3 over San Francisco
Hence the term “Best Bet.”

New York Giants plus 4 over Jacksonville
Call this one a hunch. Besides, I need a big game from Tiki Barber in order to stay in the playoff race in the Phillies Scribes Fantasy Football League (PSFL).

Best bets

Last week: 3-1
Year-to-date: 12-8-1

Typically I spend my mornings in front of my laptop with CNN droning on in the background. That’s mostly because the morning fare on television is beyond bad and I like to pretend like I’m informed. CNN seems to be the most objective of all of the news networks and it’s easy to turn off the sound and turn on music or a podcast without losing contact with what’s going on in the world.

But this morning I felt a little bored with CNN so I decided to get a little crazy with my viewing… yeah that’s right, I flipped on the BBC.

The allure here is that the BBC – channel 114 on your Comcast dial – doesn’t have to worry about upsetting the special interests in the United States and can present the news earnestly. They also keep the sensationalism to a minimum, which means viewers get significant news segments on what’s happening in Asia instead of the Spears-Federline break up.

Nevertheless, this morning the BBC did a story about the big comeback for Kylie Minogue, who is recovering from breast cancer and is giving a concert in Sydney soon -- the BBC says the concert will be one of the biggest ever in Australia.

But that’s about as sensational or as deep as the entertainment news gets for the BBC. Besides, the story was enhanced by a mid-30s hipster reporter in a black suit and white shirt opened at the collar.

Apparently that look will never go out of style.

Speaking of style, are you like me? Do you like baseball statistics? Yeah? Well try this out – according to Peter Gammons, who read Bill James’ latest post-season stat geek yearbook, Ryan Howard is projected to out-homer Jim Thome during his career. Here it is:

Projected career homers: Bonds 884, Adam Dunn 618, Ryan Howard 711, Vladimir Guerrero 633, Troy Glaus 539, A. Jones 677, Pujols 867, A. Rodriguez 772, Jim Thome 619, Jason Tyner 0.

My guess is if Howard has 711 homers at the end of his career he’ll hang around to get 715.

Also on the BBC they talked about football, but the players didn’t have last names, like Ronaldo or Beckham. The highlights made the “football” game look really exciting, but they can’t fool me. I’ve seen that brand of football played and the prospect of watching baseball or paint dry is much more appealing.

As an aside, there are many things we Americans get wrong, but we are definitely right about soccer.

So you want to know what’s going to happen in the real football games this weekend? Slow down, I’ll tell you…

Seattle minus 3½ over St. Louis
The Seahawks looked darned good in the shutout victory over the Raiders last week. Actually, the quarterback sackers looked good and the rest of the team seemed to do just enough to get by. Watching on Monday night made me think of that scene in Stripes when Sgt. Hulka asked John Winger (played by Bill Murray, who now that I think about just might be one of my heroes) why he was last during the morning running drills.

“I’m pacing myself, sir,” Winger deadpanned.

I’m going to assume that the Seahawks are pacing themselves until Shaun Alexander and Matt Hasselback return from their injuries. In the meantime the Seahawks will improve to 6-3.

Six-and-three.

Can anyone else believe that Stripes came out in 1981? That’s 25 years ago… when did I get old?

Temple plus 36 over Penn State
Penn State, of course, will not have Joe Paterno pacing up and down the sideline this weekend after he broke his leg in a freak accident last Saturday in Wisconsin. At least they say it was an accident, but something seems fishy. Perhaps those wily folks up on North Broad thought their only chance to surprise the Nittany Lions this Saturday in the erector set model called Beaver Stadium was to take away the brains of the operation. Perhaps Paterno was "taken out."

Why not? Remember Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillooly?

Aside from the linebacker (I can’t spell his last name correctly without looking it up and I don’t feel like looking it up right now) who could win the Butkus Award, the Lions have some problems in the talented players category. Oh, they aren’t bad, they’re just a slightly above average team that will struggle to beat Temple by 36 points.

Thirty points is a different story, but 36 are a little too much.

Next season Penn State comes to Philadelphia to play Temple – that’s a long drive for the Lions just to have a home game.

New Orleans plus 4½ over Pittsburgh
Is this line a misprint? Yeah, the Steelers are playing at home, but come on. Not only are the Saints 6-2 against the spread this season, but also they are 8-0 against the spread in their last eight games in Week 10.

Washington plus 7 over Philadelphia
Take the Eagles to win but Redskins to cover. Plus, the Eagles are 2-8 against the spread in their last 10 games against NFC East teams.

Do those stats and trends really mean anything? How about this one: the Eagles really, really have to win this Sunday.

Best bets

Last week: 1-2
Year-to-date: 9-7-1

The Eagles really let me down last weekend. Judging from the smoldering cars abandoned on the side of the road, the random fires in barrels doting the landscape and the general malaise of the populace in the Delaware Valley, my guess is that last Sunday’s game let down many of you good folks out there, too.

In retrospect, we were fortunate here in Lancaster that the game was not televised past Chester County. Nevertheless, the mood and news seeped into our locus a like steaming green toxic ooze with the viscose of lava. Because the Eagles couldn’t get out of their own way or solve the Jacksonville Jaguars’ running attack, I suffered my first losing week since the early portion of the season.

I also made a mistake in taking the New York Jets to win instead of the New York Giants.

Oh well… it happens.

But we’re refreshed and ready to go this week. The odds have been glanced at and it’s time to start winning again.

Ready? Let’s go:

Dallas minus 3 over Washington
There’s trouble in the District and it has nothing to do with Tuesday’s election. The ‘Skins are a home ‘dog to a team still soaring after an improbable comeback on national television just a week earlier, not to mention that the team in question can see first place just sitting there like a forgotten wallet left on a bench.

Then again, it’s not so much of an issue of the Cowboys’ “hotness” with their shiny new QB placating to the batbleep crazy receiver. No, the Redskins, well… they aren’t good.

New Orleans minus 1 over Tampa Bay
The Bucs are another home ‘dog that are going down. Sure, they may have won a few games thanks to their steel-toed kicker, but the Bucs face a team that is 7 for its last 8 as a road favorite.

Hey, that was enough to sway me.

Indianapolis minus 1 over New England
We’re taking a road ‘dog this time. We are also hailing the changing of the guard and the tossing of the proverbial monkey off the back. Those proverbial monkeys carry treacherous parasites that infect the depths of a football players’ soul and make him work out extra hard in the summertime.

The only cure is beating a particular opponent a bunch of times until the player becomes fat and complacent and crazy to the point that he will wildly throw passes into double or triple coverage.

Don’t believe me? Just go to Wisconsin sometime this winter. You’ll see it.

Speaking of Wisconsin…

Wisconsin minus 7 over Penn State
Run to the bank. Run like Paul Tergat with Hendrick Ramaala closing in on his tail.

Best bets

Last week: 2-1
Year-to-date: 8-5-1

I almost forgot about the football picks for this week. With the World Series and running workouts reaching a fever pitch, it’s amazing that I forgot to brag about the 7-1-1 record over the last three weeks. And here’s the best part – this knowledge is free. Anyone who wants a football pick only has to check this site, or, email me. I’ll even go off the board, one-on-one, for those who need the help.

Anyway, here we go:

Eagles minus 4 over Jacksonville
The logic on this one is that the Eagles lost two straight games on last-second kicks and desperately need a victory. Plus, Jacksonville’s quarterback is banged up and coming off a bad game. Sure, people tell me the Jags’ backup is decent, but aren’t they all? Nevertheless, this one could be the easiest win of the year for the Eagles.

Giants plus 1 over Cleveland
I don’t know… the line looks good. Plus, I have Tiki Barber on my fantasy team. That’s reason enough, right?

ed. note: it turns out that the New York on the odds sheet I was looking at was the Jets not the Giants. Apparently, there is more than one New York team even though the only team in the NFL that actually plays any games in that state is Buffalo. In that case, I love that Chad Pennington dude. Go Jets. J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

Colts plus 2½ over Denver
There has been a lot of snow in Colorado this week, which probably means the Broncos have been practicing indoors. The Colts are a dome team and always practice indoors (I don’t know if this is fact, but it sounds right) so that makes it all even. Add in the fact that it’s expected to be a temperate 64-degrees and dry in Denver on Sunday, which makes it feel like the indoors, and it’s still level.

Huh?

Just go with the Colts.

For the record, my favorite football picker is Jeff Johnson, who wrote excellent prognostications for McSweeney's. I don't think he does much of it anymore, but the old stuff is really good and worth the read for those who like good writing.

Best bets

Last week: 2-0-1
Year-to-date: 6-4-1

If you’re counting (and I know you are), that’s 5-0-1 in two weeks. That’s pretty good. Almost good enough to pack it all in, load up the RV and head out to Vegas. There I can stagger around from sports book to sports book, looking for the friendliest odds and least watered-down drinks as I try to stake my claim.

Until I get my feet under me, I’ll have to subsist on the complimentary drinks and 99-cent shrimp cocktail. I guess that means I’ll have to stop being a vegetarian, too.

Who says the high life doesn’t have its drawbacks?

Anyway, let’s go:

Eagles minus 5 over Tampa Bay
How can go against a home ‘dog? Easy. The Bucs stink. It doesn’t matter that the Eagles are 3-7 against the spread in their last 10 games against a team with a losing record.

Temple plus 34 over Northern Illinois
Yes, we know that this about the worst Temple football season ever… which is really saying something. But if they can’t stay within 34 points of Northern Illinois, maybe it’s time to stop playing football up there on North Broad. Give the football program’s money to the track and cross-country teams. How cool would it be if they built some trails that connect to the loops in Fairmount Park and Kelly Drive?

I say very.

Colts minus 9 over Redskins
And it’s all over in Washington right about… now.

For the degenerate types who like the action, bet on Brian Sell running a sub-2:10 in Sunday’s Chicago Marathon. Sell won’t win, of course, but American Abdi Abdirahman should contend if his 61:07 in the Philly Half is any indication of his fitness.

However, there are four sub-2:07 runners in the field, not including defending Boston champion Robert Cheruiyot (he set the course record in April) is in the race along with 2005 Chicago and 2006 Boston runner-up Benjamin Maiyo. Maiyo likes to front run, but the pace at Chicago will be blistering since the course is pancake flat. In fact, at Chicago a curb on the sidewalk is viewed as a hill.

In this race, Daniel Njenga, 30, is the most intriguing. Unlike most Kenyan runners, he trains in Japan instead of the United States and hasn’t burdened himself with too much racing. Actually, Njenga typically runs just one marathon a year – though he ran two in 2004 – and has alternated between second and third places at Chicago going back to 2002.

With a 2:06:16 PR (2002 Chicago) in tow, look for the mysterious Njenga to finally break through.

New York is quickly approaching, too. Talk about a deep field...

Best bets

Last week: 3-0!
Year to date: 4-4

Yeah, well I hate to brag, but in case everyone forgot to notice, I went a perfect 3-0 in my football selections last week. Of course that comes after the 0-3 debacle of the week prior, so it appears as if I’m hit or miss.

Either way, I believe the success has to do with the Minnesota pick and the reasoning behind it (Todd Zolecki and Bob Dylan went there). From what I can gather, that type of logic is how the pros pick ‘em.

Anyway, let’s get busy on this weekend’s slate:

Eagles plus 3 over Saints
I’m going back to the well with the Eagles after they had a strong showing against Dallas last Sunday. Conventional wisdom would indicate that the Eagles are due for a letdown, but I don’t do anything the easy way. I also don’t understand the concept behind conventional wisdom, so take the Birds and the points.

Clemson minus 44 over Temple
If Temple wins this game it will go down as the greatest upset in the history of upsets. But since we all have seen what has happened with Temple over the past three decades, we know there is no chance of that happeining. However, Temple could cover that gigantic, six TD spread.

Don’t count on it.

I heard on the radio while driving home from Starbucks that the BCS releases its first poll this weekend. That means Clemson, ranked No. 12 and already sporting a loss, will have to show-off in order to climb the charts. That means they will have to run it up. That’s bad news for Temple.

Besides, Clemson is 14-3 against the spread in its last 17 night games.

Michigan minus 6 over Penn State
The theme is the local teams this week. Night games, too, since Temple plays on Thursday night on TV. Since this is a prime time game and Michigan is really much, much better than Penn State, call it the lock of the week. If I knew how to do tricky web programming, I’d place a big bolted lock where the bullet is.

Take ‘em to the bank, folks. I’m hot.

Best bets

Last week: 0-3
Year-to-date: 1-4

Man, I’m really bad at this game-picking stuff. Maybe instead of selecting the point-spread winners I should see how poorly I can do for an entire season. Oh-for-three? And I’m selecting the games to pick?

Geez!

Then again, who would have thought that Temple would score? Not me. Obviously, I thought Vanderbilt giving the Owls 34 points was a lock. But then to follow that with telling the good folks out there to avoid the Penn State-Northwestern game because the line was too big and I knew a few people who went to school in Evanston even though my wife, sister-in-law are Penn Staters and my father-in-law is a former PSU prof? I’m surrounded by a sea of Penn State-ness yet I can’t take them over Northwestern?

What a jerk.

Oh it gets worse. Mark Brunell stinks? Obviously I stink at picking games. The Dolphins over the Texans? Well… that’s an honest mistake. Who knew the Dolphins were so awful?

Nevertheless, I’m coming back with some more to take to the bank. Here’s what we’re going with this week:

Eagles minus 2 over Cowboys
Generally, I try to avoid the home team, but I like how this is shaping up. The Eagles appear to be focused, ready and can’t suffer another loss to an NFC East team. Then again, Dallas has a history of thriving in seemingly distracting situations and that team is all distraction. There are so many distractions in Dallas that Terry Glenn just kind of blends in.

Still, I’m taking the Eagles and giving up the two points.

Giants minus 4 over Redskins
I have a friend who knows a lot about football. Actually, he might know more about football than anyone I know outside of the business. He has good contacts with the NFLPA, a few former players and front office personnel and never hesitates to call them up to chat about the goings on around the NFL. What makes his information better is that because he isn’t a writer or reporter, his contacts are willing to reveal more. In turn, he sometimes fills me in on what he knows.

With that in mind, my friend says the Giants stink. He doesn’t like their defense and thinks Eli Manning still has a lot to learn. I wonder if that’s his opinion or if he heard that from someone?

I also have another friend (two!) who writes about the Redskins for the biggest newspaper in Washington, D.C. and one of the largest in the country. That newspaper is better at covering politics and the industry town that is Washington, D.C., but they go crazy covering the Redskins because aside from politics, the ‘Skins rule D.C.

That information has nothing to do with anything and neither does my relationship with the football writer because he doesn’t tell me anything about the Redskins, the NFL or anything. However, it seems as if he agrees with me when I email him about how bad Mark Brunell is because he won’t throw the ball to Chris Cooley.

What’s that all about? Take the Giants.

Minnesota minus 3 over Penn State
It’s local week here on the friendly little blog that could. Actually, this line just leapt off the page at me, mostly because I recognize the schools and it appears to be a tightly-contested game.

Looking at the almighty trends, Penn State is 8-1 against the spread in the last nine Big 10 games. Conversely, Minnesota beat Temple, 62-0. That makes it a wash.

The next variable is the players and I can name one – that Morrelli dude. Since everyone is writing that he needs some “seasoning,” he’s a non-factor. That means we go to great writers from each school.

Minnesota has Todd Zolecki, but Penn State has my wife. Call it a tie, though Todd has been writing more lately.

Minnesota has Bob Dylan.

Penn State can’t beat that.

Gophers!

Best bets

After the 1-1 opening week (2-0 selecting winners), I'm going to mix in a college game with this week's football choices.

Ready?

Take Vanderbilt and give up the 34 points to Temple. There's nothing about the Owls early efforts that suggest that they will score another point for the rest of the season.

Around these parts, people go crazy for Penn State despite the fact that many of them have no affiliation with the school. I guess it's those flashy white helmets that makes sports' fans swoon. Anyway, Penn State is giving 19 1/2 points to Northwestern this weekend, and since everyone I know who went to school at the coldest (temperature, not attitude) campus in America are really nice people, I suggest avoiding this game.

Don't touch it with a big stick.

In the NFL, take Miami giving the three points to Houston, as well as Jacksonville minus 2 1/2 over Washington because Mark Brunell stinks.