During the late innings of Friday night's game against the Red Sox, two young men walked past the press box and, upon recognizing Marcus Hayes from his court-appointed community service work, as well as contributions to literacy in the tri-state area, decided to shout at him.
Hey, it's what people do.
Anyway, one of the fellows yelled: "Hey Marcus Hayes, the Phillies suck."
Well, there's not much one can say to that. However, no one has ever really asked Marcus what he thinks sucks. I didn't either, but by some sort of divine intervention, I channelled the spirit of Marcus, sat down with him and asked him what he thought sucked.
Here's the list of suckitude we came up with (in no particular order):
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I think I'm missing a few things.
Todd spent the offday staring at the wall in his house. Eight hours later, he got up and wrote this little off-day thang about Ryan Howard. Todd thinks YOU suck.
Marcus doesn't think Cole Hamels sucks so he decided to write his off-day story about the rookie lefty.
Also in the Inquirer, a writer went to Venezuela to get an update on Ugueth Urbina as he waits in jail for his attempted-murder trial.
Midway through Ken's off-day story about Chris Coste, the term "reach around" enters one's mind. At least that's what I'm told... I didn't read it.
On his way up to Shea, Mike Radano wrote that the series against the Mets is very, very meaningful. Very meaningful.
Meanwhile, smirking columnist Kevin Roberts wrote that streaks... well, they can mean anything.
On the other hand, grinning columnist Jack McCaffery went to RFK and wrote about Delaware County homeboy Taylor Buchholz and his strong season with the Houston Astros.
Also in the Delco Daily Times, Dennis chatted with media gadfly Cory Lidle who told him that the Mets ain't won nuthin yet. Bitch.
On the slowest-loading web site this side of a dialup 56K modem, PhillyBurbs' Randarino wrote about the "Showdown at Shea." They might even have t-shirts printed up already.
Scott Lauber was a busy little guy on his day off, writing about Chris Coste's long-awaited call to the Majors as well as Shane Victorino's strong showing while filling in for Aaron Rowand. Lauber's dateline even says New York, which means he's already there. Or maybe he's making it up... in that regard, perhaps he could have gone to Walla Walla or even taken a Carnivale Cruise or something.
Finger wrote about a horse, of course, for his weekly column that is full of overwritten imagery and other bullshit, while his intern handled the baseball stuff and wrote something about Chris Coste.
Here's the Transaction analysis thing from Baseball Prospectus:
Announced the retirement of INF-R Alex Gonzalez; recalled 1B/3B/C-R Chris Coste from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre. [5/21]
It's been a long, long, long road for Coste to the big leagues, but he's always hit, he's not embarrassingly bad at either infield corner or behind the plate, and how can you not root for a guy whose big break was four years as a star on the Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks, contending against the evil empire St. Paul Saints in the Northern League? The guy played with Darryl Motley of the '85 Royals, human fire hydrant Brian Traxler, the ageless Jeff Bittiger, famous sibling Ozzie Canseco, and the always-wandering Blaise Ilsley. Anybody else remember the too-large Mike Busch playing third for the Dodgers? He washed up in Fargo too.
Anyway, Coste has been through a lot, but he was being scouted, getting a first shot courtesy of the Pirates, and then finally sticking with the Indians' organization. He's basically someone to root for, proof positive that the Indy leagues have done more than give us the occasional pitching find, they've also given us guys good enough to stick in the upper levels of affiliated farm systems, and even crack The Show.
As for Gonzalez, while he's certainly the not-so-secret beneficiary of the Bartman incident, and although he was always seen as somewhat disappointing, he did turn out to be a pretty useful ballplayer. If he wasn't one of the American League's trinity at shortstop, he was a good glove, a hitter with modest pop and modest patience. He could bunt, and that's the sort of thing that might get Buster Olney lathered up and tingly. Because A-Gonz arrived young yet ready, a lot of us were quick to expect that he'd blossom into something more, but that's our fault, not his.
Here's an interesting one that has nothing to do with baseball -- In The New Yorker, Malcolm Gladwell writes that Allen Iverson probably isn't so good. On another note, is it possible that Gladwell and Iverson have the same hair stylist?
Meanwhile, in Budapest researchers learned that wine keeps apes feelin' fine all the time. You ought to see what it does to Mandel.