Say it ain't so, Joe

This morning’s drive to the drive to the coffee shop started out just like any other. Actually, the only thing different this morning was that it was very normal. Way too normal, even. Unlike yesterday, we didn’t get run off the road by a suburban mother racing in her Prius to the coffee joint, before watching her jump out of the car while it was still moving to its resting point, jog to the shop with the driver’s side door still ajar before elbowing her way to the front of the line to order a peppermint latte…

Then she picked up a copy of The New York Times, sat down on one of the overstuffed grey chairs and began reading.

I see that kind of stuff every day and this one was almost as funny as the time when I saw a neighbor move his trash cans to edge of the driveway, take the lids off, climb on top in attempt to push the garbage further down in the receptacle. But while standing on top and jumping up and down ever so slightly to really push the trash down, the can tipped to its side like a tall tree falling in the forest. The only thing missing was someone shouting, “TIM-BER!” And all of this occurred in the time it takes one to drive by someone’s house.

Fortunately in that case the only damage was a soiled Burberry scarf, which the trash jumper likes to wear as if he was the Red Baron.

But this morning there was no speeding Prius or flying ace taking out the trash. No, this was much more sinister and came packaged in the mellifluous baritone of one of America’s most beloved sports announcers… well, that’s pushing it a bit. It was Joe Buck, not Vin Scully, and Joe was definitely selling something, which he did earnestly and without irony.

Yep, Joe wants you to buy MLB’s Extra Innings package, and he wants you to buy DirecTV, too. It’s easy, he said in his spanking new radio ad. Easier than owning cable, in fact… at least that’s what he said.

Here’s the curious part: Buck’s ad for the new DirecTV Extra Innings package was on the radio not long after senators from the Commerce Committee held a two-hour meeting with MLB President Bob DuPuy. Based on that information and the alacrity for which the Buck ad was aired, I’d guess it was produced a while ago, and I’d wager that DuPuy and the gang had no interest in negotiating a better deal with cable companies in order to sell their product to people who really, really want it.

In fact, DuPuy treated the Senators in very much the same way he did the fans by telling them that he would not agree to continue negotiating a more fan-friendly deal into the season. In other words, we’re lucky MLB lets us watch at all. Hell, we’re probably lucky they let us buy tickets while we can still afford them.

In other words, thanks Mr. DuPuy. Thanks for the new way to watch a ballgame. It kind of goes like this:

Bases loaded, two outs in the bottom of the ninth with the Phillies trailing by three with the chance to go to the playoffs for the first time since ’93 riding on this 3-2 pitch to Ryan Howard. The pitcher winds, delivers… buffering, buffering, buffering… 47 percent… buffering, buffering… 77 percent… buffering, buffering, buffering… 93 percent… buffering…

More: Baseball holds its ground on TV plans

It's a rain out!

Was it me or did it seem that Joe Buck was laughing at us when he said, “So we’ll send you back to ‘The War at Home’ while we wait out the rain delay in St. Louis.”

It seemed that way to me. Smug and pompous, Joe was taunting us as the camera melted away from the raindrops falling heavily on the tarp at Busch Stadium. Instead of watching Michael Rappaport in some schlocky sit-com, Buck was able to watch it rain. Had he just painted a wall he could have watched it dry instead of watching episode after episode of that show.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

But while waiting for a game that was never to be played on Wednesday night, I did a little thinking and here’s what I came up with: “comedy” isn’t as funny as it used to be.

Yeah, I know. I’m some old guy saying, “things sure were better in my day.” Well… wasn’t it? Does any one think that half of the sit-coms on TV now would have had a chance in the 1980s? Now, it seems as if watching network television is like having a lobotomy without the surgery.

The same goes for comedy movies. Just for comparisons sake, I watched Animal House to see how it held up nearly 30 years after its release. If you want to know the truth, it’s better than anything being produced now.

The reason, I think, is there was actual character and plot development in the old-time comedies. There was a motivation and a familiarity with the characters, while in the Ricky Bobby picture, for instance, it was just a highlight film of one-liners and slick editing.

Don’t get me wrong, Will Ferrell was brilliant in Old School, which I believe is a “throwback” to the glory days of motion-picture comedy, but I’m not sure if he can carry a picture. Take Ron Burgundy -- it was funny and I enjoyed the character, but the movie stunk.

So that’s what we get with the rain out of Game 4 – bad comedy and a bad blog post.

On another note, my 2½-year-old boy has been having trouble sleeping at night lately. It seems as if we have a problem with monsters here on Landis Ave. that I’ll have to take care of soon. Nevertheless, the boy and I spent part of Monday night flipping through the dial, watching old movies hoping it would relax him and get him to fall asleep. However, when his mom got home I knew I was in trouble when he walked over to the TV and pointed at the robust and portly man on the screen.

“Belushi!” he told her. “Belushi!”

The kid is learning... maybe too much.